A conversation came to this, and I got me thinkin.

A friend of mine, as usual, brought up something that has been floating in my mind every since he brought up the topic/question. Love, which has been the ongoing topic in my life for the past few months.

What does falling in love mean? Is it possible? Can you fall out of love? Is it the foundation of a good relationship?

He asked this months ago, and now I think I finally have an answer.
First, what IS love? According to the bible, there's 3 types(not the exact names):
Erotic - Physical love, sexual love or as I heard it called, R&B love lol.
Brotherly - The love you have for your best friend(s).
Unconditional - Godly love. The "I'd do anything for you, no matter the cost, and want nothing in return" love
It's important that we don't confuse infatuation for love. And it's extremely important that we know the difference.

NOW, to the matter at hand. What does falling in love mean and is it possible?
I think it means truly feeling all three types of love to the highest degree of emotion, for one specific person. I think it's very possible, rare but possible. I think nobody truly finds that one person but instead finds that best they can. Sometimes people just look past that one person to pursue the person THEY think is the one.

Can you fall out of love?
I think if you're truly in love, than no. If you can fall out of love with somebody, then did you ever truly love them to begin with? However, people do change, but that's the unconditional type of love, "I love you no matter what". That, "Whatever happens, what ever you're going through, I'll be here my your side" love. It's things like that, that truly test if you're really in love with somebody.

Is it the foundation of a good relationship?
That's the hardest question of all in my opinion. In Ephesians 5:22-29, the Bible basically says "Women, submit to your husbands and men treat your wives with love and respect". So, I believe love is important to maintain a good relationship, but I believe respect is the foundation of a good relationship. If you love somebody yet talk down of them to other people or to their face, a relationship wont last, unless that person takes the abuse. Having said that, you need both for a good relationship. I think those two things are co-dependent of each other to maintain a good relationship.

What do you think?

You learn a lot through pain, heartbreak and unpleasant situations. I use to wonder "Why me?" Why must I struggle? Why must heartbreak keep it's hateful grip on my heart? Why ...why...why? But know I understand. It's God's way of teaching us lessons. God makes us struggle....so we can grow stronger and escape the storm. And hopefully, at the end of it all, we learn our lesson and walk away a better person. So, make the best of what you have, and keep you mind open....because God talks to everyone, one way or another.

It's time

It's time for me to light my fire. Everyday, ya find it hard to be motivated. But how could I call myself a man, if I don't make the best of things when I'm at....what honestly sometimes feels like the lowest part of my adulthood thus far? If I don't make the best of things, do I even deserve better? It's not in my character to be negative, so I think I'll stay in character. It's time to light my fire, mount up and ride into the sunset. I know things will get much better soon, as long as i keep God by my side.

Good ol edumacation.

It's funny, because while I'm think this, I'm reading a good friends blog that relates to this in a way. School....and why everyday I just wanna say f*** it and live on with my life. Everyday that passes, it seems like it's less about students and more about money in their pockets. For god sake, I take a semester off and I'm dis enrolled?? And now have to pay $200 just to get back in school??? On top if that it's impossible to get a student loan and I dont have the money to pay for any classes. Which wouldn't be a problem if they said "Y'know what, sign up for your classes, start school, but you can't do NEXT semester until u get this figured out." But no, they want it the same day? Maybe somebody in the office lied to me and deserves to be unemployed. But after all this, I ask myself day in and day out, is it even worth it?? Is paying off a 75K student loan for the majority of my post college career worth it?? How long am I going to keep the job I spent so much money to get? Do I really need a degree for it? Is God telling me to try harder or do something else? Is this the test that determines if I'll be successful not only in school, but in life? I always live by the motto "If there's a will, there's a way" but.......is my will fading? I need motivation and a good prayer session.

It's funny how....if we all wait long enough and listen to the tales of the wind, the true reason for every incident in our lives, eventually reveals itself. And once that happen, many things eventually fall where they should.

Justice?

I can't help but feeling that we live in a world that protects the provokers and punishes the provoked. If a guy talks trash to your face for hours and after a while you snap and knock him out, the man still standing is look at as a threat yet the provoker become the victim. It's like giving a child a spanking, he did wrong and now you physically discipline him. Or, if a man breaks into your home, armed, trying to rob you, and you beat him within an inch of his life, in his home and inner circle he's a hero, and the eyes of justice he's threat, while the man breaking in has become a victim. A man could save a woman from being gang raped, but accidentally kill one of the men in that gang, yet the woman will still have to beg and plead to get that man a lite jail sentence. But let the government be involved with giving the provokers what they deserve and all of a sudden it turns from assault and/or manslaughter into capital punishment.

I seriously hate tehis person

Seriously...........I hope he get's traded and they change his number. It's SAY Ochocinco, but he'll be #47, and I'll be laughing.

something to ask yourself.

In every generation
1 million people dream
1 hundred thousand people work towards that dream
1 hundred people accomplish that dream
1 person IS the dream.
Which one of these are you?

Only the amazing.......live forever

Jimi Hendrix, Stevie Ray Vahn, Janis Joplin (Jefferson Airplane), John Lennon (The Beatles), Freddie Mercury (Queen), Cliff Burton (Metallica), Randy Rhoads (Quiet Riot, Ozzy Osbourne), Layne Staley (Alice in Chians), Darrell "Dimebag" Abbott (Pantera) and now...Michael Jackson. All were extremely influential people in music, who died well before they're time, and now they will live on forever.

I can see it fading.

What the hell happened to individualism? All I see is more and more people joining, becoming part of the growing mass, that will continue co devour the human race. Yes, physically none of us will ever be the same, but mentally, it seems as if people are trading in their individuality for their "trendy" cards. But why??? Why abandon who you are? Is it to be cool? When I was coming up, the people I deemed as "cool" where people that are original, like nobody else, not the ones like EVERYONE else. How can that be cool???? That would mean, buy those definitions, everybody caught in the mass is cool. How can a mass be cool if they're all followers and not leaders? Is everybody posers? I mean, you have old people trying to emulate what the kids do, becoming part of that growing mass. Only....they tend to stay a step behind lol.

But, a man once asked me "what's worse, being like everybody else or tryin your hardest to be different?" Which side is being truer to themselves? Is the right answer neither black nor white? Is it just a shade of gray? In many peoples struggle to be different, are we(yes.....I'm including myself) compromising who we truly are? Do we turn our backs on the things we like, or even loved just because more people started to like them? Let's face it, many people that we deem "different" are the true trend starters of the world. How so? It's because we do dare to be different and do what we want, wear what we want, listen to what we want, cause we do give a damn what anyone else thinks about us. But is that also a front in itself? Do you just brush off the insults like they don't matter, when deep down inside, our inner self is in pain....from not being accepted? Or do we truly not care, because being different is cool?

Is it like the whole Starbucks being everywhere deal? It's so many places, that it's lost it's uniqueness. It's lost it's special feel. It's doomed to become the name of coffee, just like Xerox has become the name of copies or how Aspirin has became the name of any pill containing aspirin. Is every trend going to start off as something small that people do just to be different and then grow so huge that it looses it's "special feel"? Are those highschool stereotypes gonna become more broad or even fade away? Or are they just gonna change? Is one going to become progressively more dominate over the rest as time goes on? I for one want my children to grow up in a world where they can be exposed to vastly different people, who enjoy vastly different things. Now, it doesn't hurt having common ground on things, because that's what helps bring us together. But, it's when all ground is common that worries me. Taking in some trends that you might actually like isn't bad. But when you take them in because everybody else is doing it, that's when it's bad. That's when your raping your individuality and throwing to the side just to join the mass.

Aliens

super heroes

Some body just said to me

In todays society, things are loved and people are used. Shouldn't that be the other way around?

GM, how could you??!!?

So.....anybody that knows me and cars knows I'm a fan of Pontiacs. GTOs, Firebird/Trans Ams, G6s, G8s, I love em. Today, GM is closing Pontiac and I must say, they shall truley be missed. Today, we are loosing a piece of American history, true americana.

quotes i've grown (and am growing)to live by

Some of these I've heard and now live by and some I have shaped my life in a way...that can be expressed by these quotes. I hope they are fulfilling for you all as they are for me.

"People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People who really want help may attack you if you help them. Help them anyway. Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt. Give the world your best anyway."- Mother Teresa

"You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly
central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you will know in a
lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose."- Jo Coudert

"Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose
the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life."
- Dr. David M. Burns


"Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.
You never know who these people may be - a roommate, a neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger - but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.
Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.
Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are sometimes the most important ones.
If someone loves you, give love back to them in whatever way you can, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.
Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and listen to what they have to say.
Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.
You can make anything you wish of your life. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.
And if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.
Learn a lesson in life each day that you live!
Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.
Think About it? Was it worth it?"
- Anonymous

I've heard 2 things that just blew my mind, and not in a good way.

First, I heard about a documentray called "Guys and Dolls". It's about men........ who have relationships with those real life dolls. If anyone hasn't seen them, they are basically sex dolls, but not the blow up kind. They are made to look almost exactly like a real life women, hence "real doll". Now, I don't understand people buying them to have sex with them, they cost thousands of dollars and for heaven sake, you just cant subsitute the real thing, it's just to good. However, at the same time I can understand why some people buy them (look at me, not making any since as usual). But........what the heck would drive a man to actually have a relationship with one and feel perfectly natural about it???? Some dude was sayin how he takes it out on dates and how he's upset with his dad for not accepting "her" (because it's the love of his life). This just .......it's strang and sad and all sorts of other things.

Second, I'm sure you've all heard about this Miss America stuff goin on. If you haven't, let me catch you up. Miss California said in her speech "In my country, marriage is between a man and woman". Yes, i'm sure she meant state lol, because she mentioned how prop 8 passed and all that. But, that's not my point, I am a firm believer that every body is entitled to their own opinions. And if you dont agree, you just respectfully disagree (unless it's football or basketball season, in that case GO COWBOYS AND SPURS!!!!!). Guess who one of the judges was, that little wanker Perez Hilton. Now, if somebody said a statement like that and I was a homosexual, I would not like it nor agree, but I'd give you MAD respect for keepin it real, and hold true to your believes. But not Perez. Ever since then, he's been posting blogs and such, calling her a dumb bitch abd other disrespectful things. Not saying "I respectfully disagree". Even if you dont agree with Miss Cali, you gotta have respect for her for that. And on top of that, no respect for Perez because of the way he is reasponding to this. Who the heck made this dude a judge in the first place?????

I HATE IT!!! (part 1 lol)

I hate Hate HATE!!!!

1) Outsourcing- it disgusts me so much and plus...those are jobs we need out here doggonit!!!!

2) Men (most of them at least) - It's because men are shit and are becoming progressively worse everyday.

3) Women (again, most of them) - It's you women LET me be shit and accept them as shit instead of puttin your foot down and not letting the shit stink up your lives. You are all queens, why choose somebody that treats you like a peasant.

4) Infomercials - they love to make the most easiest and simplest task seem extraordinarily difficult just so you wast money on their piece of crap product.

Thoughts

so many thoughts running through my head
to many thoughts as I lay in my bed
mind grows full no need to be feed
no thoughts good, thank god I ain't dead

Bad news cometh and bad new grow
Visions of truth is you you must show
Realization comes and now I know
Heart turns cold like the white snow

Drive in the silence to sort out my mind
speed down the street like a felon in a bind

Maybe tomorrow I'll open my eyes and see
dawn of a beautiful day, woe is me

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!

I my I-pod is NOT working!!! What theeeee! The only good thing is the time it broke. During KROQ's "Rock of the 90's" weekend. (Bets weekend to listen to KROQ!!!)

Isn't it funny

I heard somethin on the radio today and although it was a joke, it actually was accurate. Now, everybody knows how today is the birthday of Cesar Chavez. And they had a dude (joke dude, just actin ignorant for comical purposes) tryin to say what Chavez did for Mexicans. Everything he said was wrong (and funny!! lol). But that brought up the thought of....How man people (African Americans and Latino Americans) celebrate all these heritage stuff (i.e Black History month, MLK Jr. Day, Cesar Chavez day, Cinco de Mayo, ect.) and have NO idea of what exactly they are celebrating for??? They just know they get a day off, discounts and certain places or food from festivals and what not. They don't understand the struggle those people went thru for US to have better lives. It's obvious we don't, because of how the majority of our people behave in a manner that puts our respective races to shame every day. I asked a friend of mine "What do you think Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcome X would think of black people today.....EXCLUDING Barak Obama??" I personally think they would be greatly disappointed in the majority but they'd see hope in that small few that truley want better for not only themselves but for their people.

Which Superhero & Supervillan am I

Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern 75% Iron Man 65% The Flash 60% Catwoman 55% Spider-Man 50% Superman 45% Hulk 45% Robin 43% Batman 35% Supergirl 33% Wonder Woman 28%

Hot-headed. You have strong will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz


Your results:
You are Apocalypse

Apocalypse 60% Dr. Doom 51% Venom 49% The Joker 49% Magneto 49% Lex Luthor 43% Mr. Freeze 42% Juggernaut 41% Kingpin 40% Poison Ivy 31% Catwoman 26% Dark Phoenix 25% Riddler 25% Two-Face 21% Green Goblin 17% Mystique 9%

You believe in survival of the fittest and you believe that you are the fittest.

Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

So.........somebody....tell me......why is it that when some people like to order a mountain of food.....and top it off with a Diet Soft Drink??? Seriously tho...I mean, if your gettin 2 double chesse burgers and a large fry......is diet soda gonna help you do a damn thing???? HELL TO THE NAW!!! "Yes ugggggh....hhmmm...so many choices. UH, ok...lemme get thee Gut Buster combo, with the big ass sized fries.....a cherry pie....and a diet coke." That's just effin retarded. You're still gonna die from a heart attack, even if you get the diet. You just might be one pound lighter lol.

Dare to be Different

A friend of mines wrote a blog about....holding back what you wanted to do, because of the fear of criticism from your friends. That got me thinkin about myself and when I reached my point of realization where I finally stopped caring what people thought. I'm sure some people can relate to this......but the MANY MAAAANY times I decided to....change the beat to the drums in my march called life, every time I was confronted with...ridicule or acceptance.

But....why do people strive to stay a part of the masses??? Is life easier when the overlord is banging the huge drum for you, controlling you and billions others? Telling you what's in with fashion. Telling you what song or music artist is cool. Telling you art museums aren't totally AWESOME lol. Telling you "You're not allowed to do that, you're off beat. BACK IN LINE!" Tellin you that....if you do something different, people wont accept you for who you truly are. So they hide and hide and hide. Pass up the chance to do something new just because somebody that ...in the end wont matter, may find them "strange".

But.......isn't it the differences we all have, the very thing that makes us cool and interesting? A friend of mines once said "Dare to be Different". March to the ever changing beat of the drum in our march called life. Do what you wanna do. If somebody doesn't like it, leave em behind and keep marchin. When somebody calls you crazy for wanting to dye your hair, learn to play an instrument, get a tattoo, dress a certain way, learn a new trade, fulfill your dreams.......throw up the deuce and bounce. What fun is life if everyone else is doin exactly what you do?? It becomes mundane and pointless.

It's why I always whole-heartedly support my friends in anything they want to do. And if I have them means to do so, I'll give em a hand. Why put somebody down because they go against the grain?? Somebody once told me, people are afraid of the un-normal. It's why people strive to remain normal.....and why some amount to nothing. Trapt in that web of society.

You think Barack Obama was considered "normal"? Although he seems to be a seriously chill dude, I'm sure he wasn't. Look at him now, the effin president. You think Jimi Hendrix was "normal"? Nope.com. And now he's a legend. You think most of these Idols and heroes were normal? Majority of them, not at all. I'm sure, when ever they decided to do what they do now, everyone laughed and said they couldn't do it. Everyone called them silly and said they'd never make it. And THAT right there is where you decide.........."do I let go of that....so people accept me again" or.......is it final time to stop caring and do what you want?

Support the ones that dare to be different, because not alot of people do. Why support us?? Because....we're the one's that'll lead this world in the future.

Misery loves company

Why is that thought?? Why does misery love company? It's seems like, when people are down, and I mean that DOWN down. That down where you go "DANG, this foo' needs help from God" . The Debbie Downer type down. That "WOW, your entire life is just depressing" down. That's pretty down lol. But why is it.....when people are that down, they just feel the need to bring everybody else down??

For instance, for the past 2 days, I've been dealing alot with my father. And every time I call the guy or he calls me, I'm just thinkin "are you TRYING to depress me???." I wish I could play ya'll one of the voicemails right now lol. But every time it's "blah blah (siiiigh) blah blah blah blah blah (siiigh) and blah blah blah (siiiiiigh) and other negative things that have NOTHING to do with the matter at hand (siiiiiiiigh) blah blah blah (siiiiiiigh) blah." It doesn't help that he's talking with the most depressing tone of voice either. It's like he's intentionally screaming "pity me, pity meeeee!!!" It's a waste, cause I'm really the wrong person for that lol. I have no pity for anyone, including myself. You would think they'd realize, the more unwilling you are to project your depression, the more likely it is somebody will comfort you.

Now, some depression every now and again, perfectly normal. I had to deal withit myself recently. How did I deal with it? It was peoples willingness to help, willingness to listen, because I'm not a normally depressed person. MANY many thanks to a certain friend of mine, cause she really helped me get over it and set me on the right path (even if she doesn't realize it). Effin love you!! It's like, when you treat a beautiful woman like garbage and she's eattin out the palm of your hands. It's something that's not the norm, so there's more of a reaction. But when you soak in a constant state of depression, people didtance themselves from you because you the constant attempts to bring them down to their level.

I mean, it's different when you just need to talk to somebody because there's somethin on the mind. Somethin makin your heart heavy at the time and you just need to vent, get it off the chest. That's why we blog yes? It's why we write poems, draw pictures, play music. We do it, partly because we want to, but deep down inside, we do it to keep from being that Debbie Downer. Ya dig?

Is it intensional??? I'm sure they'll deny that it is. But it's like.....when a person says they aren't jealous of men hittin on their girlfriend or wife, but deep down inside, they just wanna chin check every dude they looks her way. Or people that so easily shrug things off, like nothings a big deal, but deep down inside, they're torn and crying. It's a subconcious thing I guess. Kind of how people are almost....programed to do certain things, without knowing why.

Well, misery may love it's company, but it better the the ever loving hell away from me lol.

where is it???

Where is it? My heart warming sunrise
Overcast, foggy, a true surprise.
One of few things I wake up for
A true beauty, rich or poor

Oh my dear sunrise where art thou
Behind the curtain of cloud, waiting to take a bow?
Not all is lost, for everyday I live is beautiful
But oh my sun-e sunrise, I miss thee so

dont ya just miss it?

Don't ya miss it? Y'know.....being a child. Bein an adult had it's perks tho, cause we can do everything we dreamed of doin when we were kids. But, dont you just miss....not knowing all that bull we know now? Knowing that........very few people actually care about anything other than themselves. Knowing that, even our government, who we should beable to trust, is just as corrupt as the mafia......and care even less about the greater good of the country then people that hate Amerca as a whole. Knowing the true value of money. Cause we all know when we were little, we were so happy to get a dollar.....and bought a big ol' bag of chips or somethin lol. Knowing EXACTLY who the IRS is lol. Knowing exactly why our parents split up. Knowing that, for every successful person, there and 10 who are unsuccessful. Knowing that Micheal Jackson is a craaazy mofo lol. Knowing that, if you ever get married, there's at least a 55% chance you'll get divorced. Knowing what it's like to deal with the cops. Knowing the pain loosing a good friend.....by somebody else's hands. Knowing what happens when you don't pay the bills on time. Knowing that we live on a society based on image and not content. Knowing that Santa isn't real lol. Knowing how much it sucks goin to a job you don't like. Knowing what it was like paying $5 a gallon for gas............and driving 50+ miles a day......and only gettin 19 miles to the gallon lol. Knowing what it's like to see your friends have babies. Knowing what it's like to be broke lol. Knowing that....being an african american means that...the cards are already stacked against us, and we have to work harder then average to get ahead.

That's like......depressing lol. But what can we do besides stay positive? Thru the darkest of times, our vision need to stay bright. But it was much easier when we didn't know there was darkness. Childhood......pure bliss.

this JUST pissed me off

Why the hell.....do people feel they have to right to things they don't deserve????? I mean, seriously, somebody answer me that question. I mean, I'm a generous person, and some people benefit from it and that is no problem at all. But why is it that some people DEMAND that they receive it for doing ....let's say....nothing. Don't let every time contact me, be a call for you hittin ME up for MY money. I work hard for what I have, and quite frankly have no help in getting it. So why should I give it to somebody that don't have the....common decency to work for it? Like, i never understood it when I was younger, why my own father would become upset when the only times I'd call was because I needed some money. But, it's not so much that....they ask for money but more of the fact that....they see you as a bank, and go to you only when they need some. They can't call and say hello, or even answer your calls, but when you can't or even don't want to give them money they make a big deal about it and wonder why. Like I said, I'm a generous person, wheither it be with money or giving a listening ear and a non-judgmental mind to somebody that needs it...or a ride somewhere or something, I truley don't mind. But when you come at me like I OWE you it as if you've done something for me........that's when I have the problem. It's the root of all evil......and sometimes, I truley believe the world would be better off without it.

OMG....I think I've lost it!

So.........I remember talking to a female friend of mines, and we were both sayin how we were both intimidating looking people. Like "GRRRRRRR" lol. Like, we just have that "Imma eff you UP nigga!!!" look goin on 24/7 lol. We could walk around and have our own friends, or friends of friends actually be to intimidated to come up and talk to us lol. And........call me weird for sayin that, I LOVE that lol. Especially because, most poeple are just a tidbit scared to eff with me, so it keeps me outta trouble. But.....and call me crazy for actually feelin a little sad from this, I think i'm loosing it! lol.

I mean, I remember when this girl actually took an entire month deciding if she should take a chance and talk to me, cause I looked so mean lol. Or, at my old job, people who saw me walkin down the street would say "man....you got that gangsta stroll, like you bout to eff somethin up" lol. But .........and this is when I started loosing it, one of my friends said "you always seem to look chipper and bright, but rugged." Now, granteed, when most people meet me, they say I'm one of the nicest people on earth, or the chillist dude they've known. Which is all good, cause they know me.

Now, I'm no way, shape or form sayin I hate interation. But...lately it's like...people talk to me WAY more then they use to. A few weeks ago I was gettin some gas and some dude said "If it wasn't rainin, I'd say it was a nice day today hahaha". And I thought "GASP, a friendly in Los Angeles!" lol. Or I was at school, sittin in the office for somethin, and some dude just turns and started talkin to me. I mean, you ....really don't have to be....cordual (sp?) with people you don't know or intend to talk to....unless they're your server at a resturant lol.

Again, not the I'm sayin it's BAD....i'm just not use to it. Are people just more gutsy now-a-days or have I gone from grizzly bear.....to teddy bear lol. I'm gettin soft ya'll lol. It really doesn't help that one of my nick names was Teddy (after Teddy Ruxpin) lol.

Celebrity Collage

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

I'm shocked.......no Ice Cube on that list!! lol

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Free genealogy - Blank family tree

So This Love?

Well, the big topic this week has apparently been this....thing called Love. What is love? Besides an awesome song by Keisha Cole and the subject to 60% of every song ever made lol. Have I previously been "in love" before.....maybe. Am I now? I could possibly be......who knows lol. But, that's not what's been on my mind about love. The thing that fascinates me is....not what love IS, but what love makes us do.

For example, love will keep you up all night, on the phone or what not, talking to that one person....about nothing, just to see them the next day. Love will make you loan your friend 100 bucks, just to say "don't worry about payin me back". Love will make a person cancel all their plans, just for a 10% chance of seein that special somebody. Love will make a person turn down the finest person on earth, just because the one they love is the only one they want to be with. Love will help there love ones reach their dreams, because seeing them smile is the greatest sight in the world. Love will let you watch that loved one move far away, just because it'll better themselves. Love will keep u faithful in between the times u don't see them. Love will make you drive 6 hours, just to see that person for 1. Love will make you change everything about you, even when you vowed to never make such a compromise for anybody...ever. Love will make a burp look like the sexiest thing on earth. Love will make you watch all them chick flicks....and actually pay attention. Love will make you cry, just because of the slight chance that you may have hurt that person you love in any sort of way. Love will make them simplest thing, like a hello, brighten the most darkest day. Love will make sitting next to that person and doin jack shit, the funnest time of your life. Love will give you hope. Love will make u take a bullet. will keep you on a job for 30 years, because everyday feels like a new day. Love will put you in debt, just to see your kids in college.

But......love will make u cry at night, when that person can't say the same. Love will make u hurt, when you'll never see that person again. Love will make you stay in the worst of relationships, no matter how hard u try to get out. Love will make you call and P.I, just because your friends convinced you they might..MIGHT be cheating. Love will make u put up with stuff that'll make you cry the second you're alone for a few minutes. Love turn u to the bottle when that person leaves you....for good. Love will make you give up your dreams, just because somebody else doesn't believe in you. Love can make u suffer.

But, from what they tell me......love is very much so worth it....in the end...as long as it's true.

loosing my faith

I'm lossing it....my faith. Not my faith in God.....but my faith in humanity......like I had faith in the first place lol. But in all seriousness, I truely am. Why? Is it because I'm that E word I dare never say (emo lol)? Naaaaah. So, whaaat happened this time sir?! You might be askin lol. I have....officially come to terms that racisim will never eeeeeever go away. Some people may think that it will, or even that it has. But I've noticed that.....it's very much so out there. It's out there like a wolf in sheeps clothing. In the news, on the radio, on the streets. I'm not talkin about racial jokes....cause let's face it, those are fuuuuny lol. But just straight out racisim, weither it be racial profiling or a hatebcrime, it's there. Just the other day, sometime last week, I was talkin to some white guy. While we were talkin a lady of latin heratige came up. She looked at me....just me and asked "do you know how to break into a car? I locked my keys inside" Now....people that know me KNOW I don't do those types of things. So, naturally, me never telling a lie, I told her no. What got me was, aftter I said no, instead of asking the man I was talking to, she walked away. The funny part was, that dude not only knew how to break into a car, but actually stole cars when he was younger. What are the chances? Also, just today, I asked a much older white gentleman not to do somethin (nothin important) but, why did he give me the biggest tude in the world? Not only that......and this is the big reason I'm writing today, he almost dropped a N-bomb. I stood there in awe as this man said "fuckin niii...............numskull". Needless to say, he knew I heard him and hung his head in shame. Couldn't even look me in the eye. I mean, I've said racist things as jokes, I've called mexicans 'beaners' before, but that's because I knew that guy and he knew I ment it jokingly and that, if he didn't like, I wouldn't say it. But, for somebody to drop a racial slur...out of anger, that's crossin the line.

Unwanted

Now, this is some news that didn't sit well sit me lol. But it also....provoked some thought. So, yesterday, every bodies BFF in the NFL Terrell Owens got cut from the Cowboys. Now.....I can't say I didn't like that news, but it has ALOT of positives. So, I'm long over that. BUT this is what got me thinkin. This guy is one of the BEST wide receivers in the NFL with out a doubt. Any team would be LUCKY to get a person with that amount of talent. But, the sad part is.......nobody wants the guy. Out of 32 teams, there's only 3 teams that people could see taking him (if that). Jerry Jones came to the decision that T.O "isn't worth it". What must it feel like to have NOBODY want you. Not just that nobody wants you, but they dub thee as "not worth it".
Like..think about when you were first tryin to get a job (at least for alot of guys), filling out COUNTLESS numbers of applications just to have nobody call you. Or how bout applying to your dream school, just to NOT get accepted. That kinda blows doesn't. I'll even go personal from my experience......because I'm positive this is how T.O must feel. How bout.....gettin shut down by a group of people you thought were your friends?? Like an extended family. I can understand the shock, confusion and probably anger that Mr. Owens must be goin thru right now. Something so certain took away from you in a split second.
I'm not sayin that it was wrong for them to cut the guy....he HAS been labled the Berry Bonz (sp?) of football. But, that's goes without sayin, I do feel for the guy. I wish I knew him personally, so I could tell him I truly wish him the best (and to clean up his act).

divided we stand

Now.......I'm sure we all realize the difference of republicans and democrats. But, why is it that.....when one person from another party is tryin to make change (ie Obama), the otherside needs to go above and beyond and disagree. There's no hiding the fact that things aren't good right now. It's a well documented fact. What that means to me is, now isn't the time for people to be arguin over crap and goin against the grain. If somebody is tryin to do things for the greater good, then get behind that person and help them. Especially.....especially if you don't have any damn ideas yourself. This gives me a reason to dislike those rich republicans lol. I mean, sure Obama wants to spend money, but it's for US. All the spending is for US to get money to spend and stimulate the economy, so to speak. But, who get's a higher taxes? People who make over $250,000 a year. Guess what most of those heartless republicans make, over that. If I was them would I be happy. God no. But i'd know this has to happen for the greater good of the country. And I sure as hell wouldn't talk trash about the man on national tv. If they asked me what I thought about the whole thing i'd say, "it's not about me, it's about what needs to be done". Like Obama or not, we as people need to support him and let the man do his work..........unless somebody has a better idea.....and no it's not tax cuts.

It just hit me.....hard...really hard

I thought I was over this...but...apparently I'm not. As I'm sittin at home on a Saturday afternoon......I looked at my amp...and guitars...effects pedals and what not....and it really hit me........I'm not in a band anymore. I mean, I KNOW I'm not in a band but.....it's to the point where it..... feels awkward. Even though we didn't practice since the beginning of the year, there was always that hope of, maybe next, maybe next week, maybe next week. But now.......end of the road.
I have never really been the one who......let things get to me, I try my hardest not to take anything personal......but for some reason.....something just wont let me let this go. Initially, I thought I'd just be....sad for a few days. But it's left a void in me. I haven't even played guitar since that day, until Thursday. I've never willingly NOT played for that long. It's almost like...my passion for music stayed with the band, while I parted ways.....but I've found it again. It's almost like a bad break-up lol.....gotta get a rebound band that I wont love lol.
But, atleast I don't have any body around to hold back MY ideas....so, in a way, I feel free. Well....God's closed this door for me, to find the next door God has opened for me.

if you know about superheros a bit, this'll tickle the funny bone a bit

SO....today at work, i was havin a conversation with one of my co-workers. The main theme of the conversation was temptations and how many people dont have the willpower to over-come those temptations. I said (and this is true about me) "I have a very strong willpower....needless to say, temptations are a son of a B, but I can resist them most of the time." WELL, he paused and looked me dead in the eye....a few seconds later he started laughin and said "Thank God you aint the mutha f***in Green Lantern, be over here f***in sh*t up with that strong ol' willpower of yours." I enjoyed a good 7 laughs lol

what IS American culture??

So.....I saw something today, and although it was funny, it got me thinkin....what IS American culture??? Like what truly is American culture?? Is America just a combination of every culture throughout the world? Like, the first thing people think of when u say culture is food. What IS American food? Hamburgers, no, that's from Germany. Pizza and pasta, impossible, that's Italy. What about Cajun food??? Well, not really, cause Cajuns can be linked to France and Canada(if i'm not mistakin). Barbeque HAS to be! No, it's from New Zealand and Australia...bummer. I suppose fried chicken ....and pigs feet...and chitlins are all American lol.

Ok, so what about music??? Well, as a musician...I've discovered that ALL music can trace back to one place, Africa. Why is that? Simple, life began there. It began as just rhythm and singing and eventually instruments were made and people to them to different regions and they became part of their cultures. Now, having said that, Blues did start in America. Not even the guitar, little known fact, the moderen Guitar is actually from.....SPAIN (electric guitar is American tho yaaay)! But were did blues come from?? Slavery. Where did slavery come from? Africa. So....in a way.....all music is African culture lol. But...in a since, now-a-days, that IS how we distinguish cultures...in a way. But when it comes down to it, what really is American music?? Can we still claim rock n roll....even tho ever song Elvis (that bastard) did was a blues song? Or how bout, the English people, who pioneered rock n roll music (ie. The British Invasion). We do still have Blues, Jazz and Swing Music.

what about clothes???? Well....I thought Jeans were America....but no, they're from......France....FRANCE????? My goodness. But suuuuuurely tie-dye is American right?? NOPE, the oldest tie-dyed article of clothing is actually from Peru. Boots??? No body claims boots lol. Sneakers?? AAALLLLLL AMERICAN lol.

Maaybe our big SUV's and those gay hybrid cars are American lol.

But, please know that I'm no bashin America. These thing aren't our faults. We are a country that is only......2-3 hundred years old. So this goes back to the question, what IS American culture???? America has a culture that takes a little bit from every culture around the world be we ourselves are a nation that is diverse and so full of different cultures. That's what American culture is to me. How bout you?

Fake People

..........Fake people.....they urks my soul. I ask people.....if you hate somebody, why pretend like you're they're friend? Like.....I'll finally say it, I was kicked out my band. But.....after calming down and thinking over everything with a cool and leveled head, I can't help but get the feeling that, at least one of them wanted to kick me out for a while. The thing that hurts about that still is, that person was my "best friend". I put that in quotations because......if he truly was my best friend, things would've went down differently. It almost seemed like he was looking for an excuse to get rid of me. Like he planned this very moment with a fine tooth comb. Honestly people, if you have a problem with a FRIEND wouldn't you come to their face and say it? I know I would. But that's cause I'm real with people. I mean, I do believe in being civil with all people for the sake of no drama. But having said that, you'll KNOW if I don't like you. I mean, what's the point of constantly putting yourself around somebody you don't like? Do you do it to not hurt anyone's feelings? My feelings would surly be hurt when you drop the "I never liked you" bomb on me. I wanna call it childish, but little 4 year olds have no problem with this at all. Bugs me so much, i can't even think straight lol.

tv court shows

..........why.....on those tv judge shows.......do people sue for the most pointless stuff in the world. Like, I'm watchin one now and....some 14 yearold kid was suing another kid for $5000 for punchin him in the face enough to much a deep cut in his face and for pain and suffering. Now, if it were me, sure sue for the doctor bill, that's 750 bucks, but that's it. Not 5000, that's over kill. Or people sue for stuff u can settle in 5 minutes outta court. If you owe somebody money GIVE IT TO THEM!!!! Why not give it to them and let then milke u for everything u got in the end? And if not that, thwy are just retarded or unprepared. If u wanna sue someone..either bring proof or don't sue........cause you won't win. Lol. I gotta admit tho......sometimes that stuff is just plain hilarious lol



Sometimes tho.........they got some legit cases.....that should seriously be in a real court with a jury and lawyers. Not on tv with some turd for a judge, who will rule against you if he/she dosen't like you.


But hey......whatever gets the ratings I guess.

LOL

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

one of many lessons from life

Never let the negative ruin your positive. Thru all the times of hardship and uncertainty, we must always keep our heads up and fight on. Even tho today my feel hard, and cold and unfriendly, there are always smooth and open roads ahead. So when things look rough, never give up hope and faith. Because when you have nothing else, you always have your faith

Forever more

I wrote this poem........almost 4 years ago (someone forced me to write a poem on the spot lol), and lost it 2 years ago and have been looking for it since. I now I've found it.

On a dark and stormy night
I look to the sky and wonder
were all the time went

So old yet so young
so weak yet so strong
wasting my life away

I picked up the phone
I froze out of fright
Wondering what I'm doing

I stop and swim in my own sarrow
regretting the thing I didn't do
and the phone rings

It's that one person that means so much
the one wrong suddenly turned right
and the day is turned bright

My cold heart becomes warm
it overflows with love
and what felt like waste is no worth

Worth that spreads endlessly
Spent with the one lave
Love forever more

siiiiiigh

.....sigh....after certain events that happened Saturday (if u care to know, feel free to ask)........I've come to realize that.....I have hurt people that I love. I have realized that....perhaps I should take people's feeling in higher consideration. I have learned that.....sometimes....I shouldn't need to be notified when I'm hurting somebody's feelings. That....although I was given the ability to wave off emotions or insults like they never happened, others can't. Should I be upset with the people that couldn't tell me there was a problem.....or myself for being the problem. Was there truly no form of redemption from this decision? Only time will tell now. But sometimes.....it takes something like this to set one on the right path. So, to all my friends.....if I have hurt you, I apologize, with the deepest sincerity from my heart.

So good

run my fingers thru your hair
embrace the smell of the air
when I'm with you I feel no time
I'd drop my whole life on the dime
Runnin thru my dreams at night
The only one who's in my sights

Oooooooo you make me feel
I feel so, feel so good
Oooooooo you make me feel
I feel alive, feel so good

If feelin this good is a crime
I more then willing serve the time
You make my life feel like a dream
It flows and flows and flows it seems
If missing you will be my pain
I more then willing play the game

Oooooooo you make me feel
I feel so, feel so good
Oooooooo you make me feel
I feel alive, feel so good

What if.......to all my NFL fans

So......at work the conversation came up on "What if Michael Vick is reinstated to the NFL???" And this got us all thinkin......where would he go?? Many teams need a good QB, and a few teams have the money to throw a nice contract at him on the whim.

SO, so far we came up with this.
#1 Dallas Cowboys
Why? Cause they're awesome that's why! But seriously, not sayin this because they're my favorite team but, they have the money. Not only that, although Tony Romo had a 91 rating this year (still on of the best QB) he could've done much better. So instead of having Brook Belinger and Brad Johnson as back ups, get Michael Vick. Infact, knowing the Cowboys, the words "back-up" wouldn't apply to Vick, cause I could see them playin both Romo AND Vick throughout the season. And if they can play as a team, with Vick, they WILL be unstoppable.

#2 San Fransisco 49er's
Why? .........They need a GOOD QB.

#3 Arizona Cardinals
If Kurt Warner decides not to come back, I'm sure they don't want Matt Leinart back in starting. It took them NOT playing the guy to get to the Super Bowl. SO, get Vick, he can do it.

#4 Detroit Lions
after a perfect season lol, I'm sure they're looking for things to change.

#5 St. Louis Rams
Let's face it......they suck.

#6 Oakland Raiders
saaaaaaaame reason

#7 Seattle Seahawks
Let's face it.....they had a BAAAAAD year

#8 Tennessee Titans
we all said yeah...but don't know why

#9 Tampa Bay Buccaneers
One of my friends is a Bucc's fan, so he claims they;d take him.



and then the teams that we think WONT take him

#1 New England Patriots
#2 Atlanta Falcons (his own team.......it would shock me if they did)
#3 Green Bay Packers
#4 Arizona Cardinals (if Kurt Warner stays)
#5 New Orleans Saints
#6 Indianapolis Colts
#7 New York Giants
#8 Denver Broncos
#9 San Diego Chargers

you gotta see this!

Wolverine is the MAN! Anyone who get's the chance has to see Hulk vs Wolverine. And I'm sayin it now....he's the best superhero hands down.

are u serious???

So......I was listening to the radio for this morning (106.7 with good ol Kevin and Bean) and they mentioned a story that I just couldn't believe. In Lagos, Nigeria there was a car robbery. He was being purseed by a group of vigilantes. They eventually caught up to him and had him in a corner. Wait for iiiiiiiit.................. ......................................................... ...........The man then transforms into a goat and attempts to escape. They catch the goat....or man....man-goat.....goat-man???? They take it to the police and make the report. Thank GOD the police didn't believe them. The goat has since then been sold and the case dismissed.

All I could think was "are you serious???? Did I hear that right???"

http://allafrica.com/stories/200902040095.html

Read the article for yourself........get a quick 7 laughs out of it.

Society climbing out the crapper

Ok, I've been fed up about this for some years because...if it's not in one form of media, it's another. But........what's with the lack of creativity, or even quality and things these days?? For instance, a few years ago, it seemed the world of Hollywood was just hell bent on making remakes of movies. There would be no problem with it....if the remakes were better, but most of the times they aren't. Or how sketch comedy shows like Saturday Night Live and Mad TV are just gut-bustingly unfunny. It's like something drastically happened to these shows to where, they came back for new seasons in 2004ish....and the comedy left with all the class A comedic actors. Although SNL did have a few good ones, it was nothing like the time before (and Keenan Thompson......not funny...makin black people look bad lol.) Mad Tv sucks so bad now, it's getting canceled. And now music......WTF!!!!!! From 1999 on back, music was AMAZING! A good number of my favorite bands and artist are pre 2000 people. Why? Because newer music is just simply unimpressive. Now, granteed, there are some new artist and bands that are amazing (ie Alicia Keys, Trivium, The Killers, Corinne Bailey Rae, Kanye West, The Game, Avenged Sevenfold, Three Days Grace, ect) but the list is short. One day I was talking to a friend and we thought, some newer artists that are amazingly big now, in the 90's would be one hit wonders. Even some of the MANY one-hit wonders from the 90's are waaaaaay better then most of the new people today.

And I gotta say now, to a friend of mine...The Fray.....they aren't bad....they just offended me lol.

Alot of what I see today in music, is the return of many old bands. Like, a few years ago, Motley Crue made a comeback (Saints of Los Angeles is a sweet song). The members of Rage Against The Machine and the singer from Sound Garden formed Audio Slave. The members of Guns N Roses and the singer from Stone Temple Pilots formed Velvet Revolver, in fact now, Stone Temple Pilots reunited...even Guns N Roses came out with Chinese Democracy (although it took 15 years). Bruce Dickinson came back to Iron Maiden in 2000 and they've been the strongest they've ever been since then.

Now.........what in gods name is up with reality tv???!?! Like, survivor I can handle, real world that's cool, but where'd this explosion of these shows come from??? Especially the dating ones....pointless. Make a fool of yourself on national television for no reason at all, makes no sense. Now, I can understand doin it ONCE. In the UK, they normally get a idea for a GREAT show and only do one season of it, maybe two. Why? Is it because they can't come up with new ideas? No, because they are more smarter and creative then us as a whole. But it's to keep TV fresh constantly, because seriously.....reality TV....it's getting very lame and recycled.
Some shows just need to learn when to end. (Like Power Rangers...just.......just stop)

But, amongst all the crap there's hope.

Let's talk movies. Have you seen Dark Knight????? Sure Batman has been around for decades, but that movie is the best i've ever seen Batman...period. What about Iron Man??? The was the first superhero movie that I was actually stunned by because it was so good. Seth Rogen....comedic genius! If his name is on something....I'm gonna cry from laughing. Tropic Thunder....the funniest movie EVER!! V for Vendetta (although previously a comic book) I love it.

I've said my piece about music lol.

And let's hit up Television. Despite this growing popularity of reality television...which just.........just moves me, there are still great shows. Shows like The Office, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, House (apparently), 30 Rock, Arrested Development (one of the greatest shows ever). Adult Swim, Disney and Nick have some sweet cartoons. There are plenty of good shows NOW but.......we really need to find a way to just.......lower the number of reality shows...seriously.

nothing we can do but hope more quality music, movies and tv, emerge from the darkness and into the light.

battle of family

.......*sigh*......why is it, that people just find the need to drag me into their battles? I mean, if it's a close friend or a spose or something of the sort, where I could clearly say "I'm on your side completely, because you are 100% right without a doubt. But, when it comes down to a fight between family, things get a little complicated. Needless to say, in certain arguments, like this one today, the sides are clear, the motives may may not be, but the ultimate goal is. But this is where the work......"conflict of intrest" comes to play. Do I pick the side who's intentions may be great, but motives may not be entirly in the pure, that give me problems many a many times again. Or do I pick the side that what drop a dime for me any given second, but may be wrong? Not to sound like I feel I'm the center of the universe, but when it comes to this it ends up being......what side is better for ME to go with. Should I go with none? Should I stay neautral like Switzerland? Should I sit back amongst the mind games and fighting, stayin quiet and sippin on a pina colada...(or a bull fighter lol)? As far as my best intrest goes......that might be the better choice no? How can to sides be upset with one if one picks no side at all?

I'm Still Alive

i wrote this a year or 2 ago, but i still like it

Despite the good
For I am blessed
I thank God
I'm still alive

I do what I'm told
I do it well
So I thank God
I'm still alive

I try my hardest
So little recognition
But I thank God
I'm still alive

I empty all of me
Yet still taken for granted
But I thank God
I'm still alive

Mentally, physically drained
Feeling the pain
But I thank God
I'm still alive

Despite the bad
I am blessed
That's why I thank God
I'm still alive

LMAO!!! So funny and so true

Professor wikipedia



You can't lie.....this is true lol.

Anything you can do, they can't do at all

I've been talking to a few colleges and friends, and this topic keeps popping up "Things that are easy to accomplish for some, and outrageously difficult for others". First and foremost I must say to my noOb, I am so proud of you and it touches my heart that you accredit me to your success. Anyways, in a conversation with my teacher he said "People like art, not neccesarily because it's good, but because unlike like us, they do not have the skills to recreat it." Even in music the same applies. People are impressed and love music because they can't play it (and it's pleasing...sometimes).
This struck intense thought into my head of past things I just couldn't understand. Like, how many times have you seen some kid driving a car for the first time and all of their friends that dont drive are just amazed, simply blown away. But then an older person would think "this must be a new driver" critiquing their driving. Or a young teenager draws a picture and showd it to their friends and they think it's the most amazing thing they've seen. But when they show it to an accomplished artist they get a simple "cool" or a forced "this is good". Some kid that's been playing guitar for a year can play a song, and people that arent musicians are just blown away. But if a tenured musician or just an overall better guitarist walks by, they wont even turn their heads to acknowledge them.
But somebody may ask, why is that? Is it just because they're rude and stuck-up? The answer is no. People are impressed by what they can't do. If that same guitarist walked by the likes of Joe Satriani, John Petrucci, BB King, Eric Clapton Yngwie Malmsteen and other guitar greats, they would stop and listen. Not just because they are good, but because they can accomplish something they can't. If that artist went to the Getty, and saw paints by Michealangelo and other art greats, they pause and gaze in amazement. Not because they are good, but because they cannot accomplish that. If a chef eats something Wolfgang Puk cooked, they're blown away, because they can't accomplish the quality of cooking that he can. A bodybuilder can walk into the gym and see a guy whole lifts more then him and is blown away and already formulated a list of questions. Why? Because that person is on a level that he has yet to reach.
SO, I now see that, some people arent impressed by certain things, not because they don't like it, but because they can do it. So, next time I hear another artist say "impressive" or a musician say "WOW, that sounds sick" I'm gonna take that to heart.

Pull me through

Racing the track
Stuck in the back
And now stuck for eternity

Blowing my mind
I'm out of time
5 Minutes left was all I need

Inconvenience to you
Imma try to pull through
Please wait help is on the way

Stuck in a bind
I grip and I grind
Till friendship pulls me through

master of my mind, slave to my heart

Have you ever...felt some way about someone but were to....not scared, but unsure about what the outcome would be if you reveiled this....this feeling u have. Like, you're not unsure because you're a pansy, infact you're the direct oposite, but because you are afraid of the uncertain. Afraid of ruining a good thing. Not that your scared of rejection, but rejection from this person. My mind is sayin don't do it but my heart grows heavy. I'm the master of my mind.......but a slave to my heart. So the question remains, do I listen to whom I am ruler.....or to the one who rules me?

this bugs me a bit

So, why is it that, when we cleeearly see that we need to fix something, and dub it unimportant, just to have it bite us in the arse? Like, today my tire poped flat on the freeway today and yesterday I said to myself ".....I should get that fixed asap" but no....I didn't. MISTAKE!!! It didn't help that my jack was broken from a few months back so I was stranded. But, I will say, friendship is a strong thing. One of my friends (she knows who she is, and if she reads this, I just wanna say I really appretiate you) came and save my behind. I couldn't help but think, how many other people could I have called just to be turned down, told they were to busy for somebody they call a friend. The same person that bailed me out wrote something of friendship. How many people WOULD'VE done that for me? So today, I think I know one more person I can call my friend. I am forever in debt to you my friend.

Yesterday

Yesterday
It all seemed so easy
our life decay
our leaders deceiving
World in disarray
And there is no hope left
No there is no hope left
Yes we have no hope left

Yesterday
Wish things could be different
No other way?
World constantly crumbles
Live in disarray
Since we have no hope left
No there is no hope left
Why is there no hope left?

Yesterday
We lived for yesterday
We'd die for yesterday
And now it's gone

Yesterday
We lived for yesterday
We long for yesterday
And now it's gone

skillz

i can't help but post this....i'm a fan of my work

the question that stumped them all

There comes a time in everyone's life where they stop and ask "what is the meaning of life?" or even a more personal "what is my purpose in life". Isn't that the ultimate question, the meaning of our lives. For instance, was Jimi Hendrix's purpose in life to become successful OR to inspire generation upon generation of guitarist and an entire music genre. Did he have to die to fulfill that?? Was every victim of A.I.D.S purposes in life to contract the disease, die, and build up in numbers only to eventually, one day, push scientist to find a cure? Did my grandfather live 12 years after he was diagnosed his doctor said he could die within six months just to show me to never loose my faith in God? Did a friendly conversation with a complete stranger stop him/her (or even yourself) from committing suicide? Was that person to live and become or help somebody become an inspirational figure? Is it 5 billion peoples purpose in life to do nothing of great importance but just stay out the way of those 1 billion people that will? Was it the mother of Barack Obama's purpose to give birth to him, so he could become president and put hope in a crumbling country and in the hearts of mankind, and to let the world know that anything is possible (and that America isn't racist)? Was the purpose of all those failed musicians, writers, actors/actresses, etc to make room for the ones that would make an impact? I can't help but think that......some people can't look past their failures and loses, although to them it may be bad or horrific even, but what if from that misfortune came success for somebody else? Will people as a whole ever be able to look past that?

I Am Darkness

just for the record....i'm not crazy


Darkness comes from the inside
It was always here
Darkness shielded by light
but that light now turned Grey

Evil thoughts consumed in darkness
running wild like a shark in sea
Lust for death and anger consumes
As the soul just drifts away

Can darkness truly miss the light
or did it part ways just of spite
it's this darkness that makes the world spin
my new world overcome with sin

so angry but i feel so good
adrenaline rushing thru my veins
hands shaking with that thirst of blood
a thirst that must be quenched with flood

My mind is black, my vision blurry
Primal instinct acts quick, in a hurry
Lust for death and anger consumes
as the light drifts away

Why must pain have initial hurt
but in the end be so good
DIE DIE MY DARLING DIE
life no longer thou my rose glasses

why must sin feel so good
so much more freeing the life in light
freedom to do without regret nor sarrow
freedom to do wildest desire

darkness is darkness is
it's what I've been longing for
it's what I've been craving for
darkness is darkness is
darkness is me

New years bolg.....3 weeks late

Well, another year has past..........but this one was a year truly not wasted. From actually accomplishing a few New Years Resolutions, to just growing up in general, I think I've gone a long way.
I'm grateful for all the people God placed in my life, both new and old, friend or enemy, for every interaction gives me a new lesson, not matter how small or big, it helps at shape to my character.
But all-in-all, this year has helped me learn more about myself. I've come to terms with the flaws I have.....and learned to embrace the pain in my soul.......because, it's the way you handle pain that makes u a man.
I'd love to bare my heart a little more but for once, i have a few things to hide. lol. But I will say this, despite so far I've come, I still have long roads ahead. I just thank the people that help me grow into a man, because without them, i'd still be at page one. I especially thank the people that restored my faith in mankind. Especially one person in particular, even tho i haven't known her that long, and she may not realize it, but she helped mend my shattered heart. Many thanks to that person.
So, all-in-all, this was a pretty awesome year. Like i said before, I still have ways to go, but maaaaan, I'm on a roll. I can't wait to see what 2009 has instore for me.