keep it real.

Why force somebody to do something out of their character and get upset about it when they don't want to? I mean, there comes a time where you just can't force people to do stuff. I mean, I'll go more personal. My whole thing, just because that gonna be your husband, doesn't make him my dad. I'm 24 years old. Don't force me to like somebody that pretty much means nothing to me. Being nice is one thing, but don't try to jump in a be my father, I don't need it. Maybe if I were 12 or 14 years old, it would be different. I mean, it's not like you become friends with people over night. But know you're place. You can't try to be a grown mans father. He already either has a father or father figure. And then....don't force me to like him!! Don't force me to talk to him. Stop playing games. Do you REALLY think it's gonna help and/or work?? Doesn't help you're being fake all the time, pretending you like stuff that you wouldn't look twice at other wise. Now, I understand "sacrifice". I understand trying to be something you're not to impress somebody, in a way to convince them to date you. But when you're already in a relationship, I think it's time to be you. Infact, I think you should've already been you before hand, cause if you're not SURPRISE! I mean, why keep up a lie? It's must easier to be real from the get go.

It's funny

This is funny to me. Now, of course people love to have money, I do to, and if I said anything other, I'd be a hypocrite. It's how we can....basically live. Now, of course, both men and women want to have money, it's social status these days. In a non-married relationship they love it because they can do things, have fun, live like royalty, so to speak. Same thing when they're married, although they give up some of that for their kids, or just include them. Now, there's a saying that goes 'Time is Money'. You can interpret this as "The more money a person makes, the more they work". So, typically, if you're making about $65,000+ you're probably working a good amount of time.

Now, here's more of what I'm getting at. Women want a husband that makes a good amount of money. I understand that completely. Infact, I'd love to make a good amount of money whenever I get married myself. Now, like I said earlier, when you make more money, you work more. So why is it, all these women that "need" a man that makes a good amount of money ALWAYS complain about never seeing their husbands and being unhappy cause they're lonely. I mean, isn't that part of the game? You don't play football if you don't want to get hit. You don't drive if you can't afford gas. You don't get good at playing instruments and art if you don't practice. It's the name of the game. It's rare that you get both, so why don't women realize this? Don't ask for a rich man if you can't live with being apart while he's making your money. Same thing for men, don't say you want a working woman if working different hours is to hard on you.

All in all, cherish the moments you spend with your loved ones, because no time is promised.

Progress Stoppers

This is no longer a question (Thank you Elyse) but rather a reflection. My original question was something on the lines of "What should one do when they have a friend, that's just wasting their life away, never seeming to grow up, so you try to push and motivate them to do something with their life? Do you keep trying or do you leave them behind?" Now, the ultimate answer was, leave them behind, because if they already don't listen NOW, they never will, and it'll only hold you back. Which, is true, very true.

Just thinking about it to myself, the truth became even more evident. I myself am never comfortable if I'm not doing something with my life. Granted, not every move I make is the right one. My path isn't straight and narrow, but wide and curvy. But I'm trying. I think most people are the way I am, especially when you have so much talent to the point to where you can't pick ONE thing to do, just gotta keep going till you find the right thing. So, I'm positive all those people feel equally as bothered when you see people not doing anything at all. Not even a plan. Nothing.

Looking at it, I think it can be somewhat straining on a friendship. It's like one friend being a millionaire and the other always asking for money, initially you don't mind, eventually it's bothersome but you try to push them to get on their feet. Ultimately you either cut ties or back away a bit, drifting further apart sometimes making a friendship into a acquaintanceship at best.

Now, it's completely different if it were somebody that fell on hard times, a victim of the economy. But to never try, that's another. I will say now, they will never be a priority for me anymore. I won't go out my way to be around them. I won't sacrifice things that can be important to my future for them. I won't even pencil them in my plans for the future, cause I don't want to waste the time to erase them.

In sports, they have a term for people that have top out in performance and can no longer help the team progress past their current potential. It's called simple 'Progress Stoppers'. Typically, those people are kept until a good replacement is found, who have the potential to be even better than that person. It's not a move meant for a quick fix, it's for the long haul. But it's meant to give you the best chance to win a championship.

So, now I have to cut my progress stoppers, or at least make them inactive on my roster, or else I'll never win.

Ok, real questions, and please do answer and if not, just think about it.

Why do people that not only never say thank you, but feels entitled to everything you do, like it's your duty to bend and they're will, get mad if you don't say thank you?

Why do people that talk down to you, and I mean that, when you're already down they try they're best to make you feel worse, get mad when you just don't wanna eff with them anymore?

Why do people who can never have a positive conversation with you get mad when you never want to talk?

Why do people that do all of the above to you, wonder why you're not nice to them? Do they not realize they do the things they do?

These are the things I'm wondering right now.

What does it mean?

Now I'm left in a state of endless thought as usual. Y'know, everyone knows that people come in and leave out of ones lives constantly. It happens every day. Everyone has their purpose in our lives, weather it be brief or continuous. Naturally, many people (not all) eventually leave ones life because they have served they're purpose for us, and us for them. However, what does it mean......if a person that left ones life, pulls a Brett Favre. You thought they were gone, they said they were gone, but yet here they are again as if they never left. What does that MEAN!? Have that same person be called for a new purpose in ones life? Has their purpose in ones life not been fulfilled? Where they never even gone at all, just dormant in your life? Now I'm left in a state of endless thought..........as usual.

This is what I want to do, and I love it!

This quarter at school, I finally feel like I have the time to commit to a program called 'Game Wizards' at school. It's a game development program where students get to make they're own games. Last quarter I intended to do it, being that a much trusted and admired classmate of mines was going to be a Lead for his game. Unfortunately, all my outside commitments along with school were just to much to handle. But now that I have the chance, I'm goin to make the best of it.

This time around, I'm doing concept art and 3D modeling for weapons/props/buildings/ect. Those who may know, my goal is to do Character designing. Being that I haven't truly worked on a team in this sort of situation, this will be a great experience for me. Although I'm not doing EXACTLY what I want to do as far as a career, this is close enough. I just hope I can create work that will find a nice cozy home in my portfolio.

American Wonder

I'm sure, some Americans that realize that America isn't the only place on Earth sometimes wonder why majority of the world hates us. Well, given my current place of employment, I've been blessed with the chance to ask (mainly Australians, English, and New Zeland..ers) what they hate us (as a whole, not as an individual). Of course there's man answers, however, the most common one is politics.

Let's start it up with more recent stuff. Now, of course when Obama was elected, the worlds approval rating of America went up, drastically. And if you're wondering, they're image of us was ruined by Bush. But, never-the-less, they loved us when we voted us in. The world LOVES Obama. Every country around the world backs Obama to the fullest. Why do you think he's doing so good with Foreign Affairs? Now, here's why the world hates us......ready........we dislike Obama (as a whole, not individually). But why? The main reason is, all the people that said they had his back, all the people that said he was our savior, all the people that said they'd do everything in their power to help Obama succeed, all the people that said "for this country to work, we need to operate as ONE not multiple parties", all the people that agreed it was time for a change (and had the power to help) ALL TURNED THEIR BACKS ON HIM!!!!! In other words, it's because he's black. That's right, I just basically called our government (or at least people with power) racist. However, given that majority of people don't watch the news or follow politics, they don't realize that this is going on, in our faces. To them, all that's happening is that "change" isn't happening fast enough in a world that's so accustomed to instant gratification. So to us Americans (as a whole) he's failing in our eyes. Which isn't the case, he's doing all he can. Don't forget about all the problems he inherited. But instead of all this, our approval rating of him falls, instead of us going to the government and pleading for them to help Obama help us. Why is it that people in other countries realize this, yet people in his own country show him NO love!? I wish I knew.

Another reason why other countries hate us is......we voted in Bush....... twice.
So, basically, they all think we're idiot cowboys that think we know everything when we actually know nothing.

Kids vs Adults, makes you think.

I've been spending alot of time watching people, and just think how what we call "progression" in some cases can be the direct opposite. I mean this in way of i guess you can say friendship, but I'd rather say associate-ship. Think about it for a second. Look at a small child or rather a group of small children. They play together, laugh together and have some good ol fashion fun. Right? We do the same thing between associates, we shoot the breeze laugh and joke together. Now, here comes the major difference. When a small child dislikes somebody, that's it. That's it? That's it. They let it known "I don't like you anymore" and that's it. They stop talking, playing together, laughing together, they stop they're associate-ship.There's no thrash talking afterward nor is there the "fake friendship" going on. It's either there or gone. Simple enough. And....here comes the double kicker. Once they're not mad anymore, in comes the apologizes! That's right, they apologize and move on. There's no grudges. There's no, let me pretend to be his/her friend to her face but talk bad about them like they're a neglected Step-Step child. It's black and white. You either like the person or you don't. But why can't we adults do that?? Instead, we make seem as if we're (in a general sense) the best of friends. Laugh, joke and hang out together. Yet every time the person leaves from range of the sounds of our voice, the truth flies out. We were taught to say nothing if we had nothing nice to say, yet we can't close our mouth and all we have to say is negativity. Yet the very moment that person comes back, it's all good on the gazah strip. But why??? It's not like it makes our life better. I mean, in the work place, all you need to say is thing pertaining to the job and it in fact increases your productivity. Are we just that starved for acceptance? So starved that we'd play tho role of bff to our most hated person, just for human interaction? Seems like children have a little more edge on us adults, we could learn something here.

I can see clearly now

There's nothing like being lost in thought with a bit of meditation that makes everything a bit more clear.

Eligible Receiver

So, last Sunday, at church, the sermon delivered, not only made me REALLY wanna watch some football, but it changed my perspective on a few things. The preacher (Dr. Billy Curl) said, being a christian is like being on a football team. You have your offense, your defense and your special teams. God is our Coach and Coordinators. And we're playing against Satan. Everyone plays a roll. But in order to win, we have to play with-in that roll. When we have to play defense, we do our best to stop Satan from making a big play. Maybe we have to be the offensive line, and block the person giving us our blessings. But if we play our rolls right, one day, we all eventually become an eligible receiver and we can finally receive our blessings until it's time for us to play another position. It made me think, as long as we listen to what God's trying to tell us, and we abide by that, we'll always have a winnings season. Even tho there maybe be a few loses, it's always a winning season.

Oh boy....oooooh boy

I don't wanna call it a deli-of-a-pickle.....but I'm in a deli-of-a-pickle. Everyone in college knows how there's certain times for certain classes, some in the morning, some at night. Those people would also know that some classes need prerequisites (sp?). Now normally, the same class is offered multiple times, and different days. Especially prerequisites. Now, my problem is, there's 2 classes I need to take, both prerequisites, and I can never take any of them due to me having a job. Or, at least, my new job. And if I can't take those, I'm at a dead heat as far as school. In a nut shell, I have 3 choices:
A) Drop out of school and continue working
B) Quit my job and continue school
C) Find a new job/ try to change my schedule

Now, obviously I'm gonna go with C, gonna give that my all. Since, it would be foolish to drop out of school, and be stuck working BS jobs my whole life. And then, it would be foolish to quit working, since I have bills and such, rent, gas, insurance, ect, ect. So I suppose all I can do is keep looking and pray on it.

First real portfolio peice? Maybe

Bishop from X-Men

hm

I've grown. Although, I'm still growing. I've outgrown that outer shell. I'm not just growing as a man, I'm becoming more of a Leader. The one thing I've noticed tho is, I'm becoming less and less tolerant towards certain things. Y'know, people with defeatist attitudes, poor leadership, ect. By no means do I think I'm the person I should be now, or thought I would be, but I think I'm on the right track.

Carnage

My newest project, my own original version of Carnage from Spiderman.

I tried to forget, but this made me so angry I need to get it out.

The Situation: So, in class we do this thing called Fight Club, where everyone turns in our art work, and the teacher puts them up head to head in a competition to see who's is "the best". Now, one student did a horrible thing, his was unfinished and looked like shit (I know this, cause I saw it before he turned it in). When he turned it in, the or was picture of his project (we were suppose to make a 3d model of this random chick) with an over-laid image of the girl. Looked HORRIBLE. Needless to say, he was disqualified. Our teach gave him a second chance to turn in his ACTUAL model. In response to that he said "No, because I'm going to lose anyways". Not only did that leave my teach (who's a really out spoken person) speechless, it left me upset.

Ok, so to why I'm upset. We're in school, getting a higher education. Now, at school, you're in classes with people the you very well might see at a job interview one day and/or be calling them Co-Worker later down the road. Here's my beef (or beef substitute lol)

1) FINISH YOUR WORK!!! It's an art school, you should love doing ART. Work should always be done on time, or at least close.

2) Attempt to do the work!! Again, it's an art school. It should at least look like you put effort into doing your work. And don't make excuses for it being bad (other than, " I didn't put enough effort").

3) [the one that really pissed me off] Don't have a defeatist attitude!!!!
Yes, your stuff sucked, but you can only blame yourself. Somebody once told me "You aren't a loser until you say you've lost". When that kid (I call him kid, because he's no longer a man in my eyes) not only denied the chance to turn in his work but added "I'll lose anyways", he has labeled himself as a loser.

What's wrong with that you might ask. Isn't he just being a realist? No, and I'll tell you why. I realist would have said this "Ok.......it's kinda bad tho". In fact, a realist wouldn't have tried to cheat in the first place. He would've owned up to what he did (or didn't do). A realist would say "Yes it sucks, yes it's not finished, yes i put little effort it, but it's mine and I'm turning it in". I mean, who wants to work with somebody that doesn't believe in himself NOR sound like they have any motivation to try and get better??? I tell you what, I hope I never work with that kid. One of my teachers said "Embrace your suck-i-ness and use it as motivation to get better" I hope we can all do that and not live life as a bottom-dweller.

Look at what I've done

I did a 3D model of a bust (head + Torso) or Cyclops from X-Men. I used the face of the actor that played Cyclops from the movies, James Marsden.


This is the base model, without the clothes....obviously.


This is the model with clothes




And here's the final render of it, I'll probably change it up a bit.