What should I do?

Sometimes....I struggle with the "how do you show emotion and still be a man". I'm by no means an emotional person, but I do have them (even tho most people think I don't lol). I never believed in bottling them up, but I always have ways to....vent without to many people knowing. Sometimes, you don't even want the person it's about to know.

It's not a lack of courage. Not at all. I have enough to share. But it's the uncertainty that stops me.

I want to tell her 'I love you' with all my heart........but the uncertainty of it being reciprocated scares me. I don't want to say it to be greeted with a "...O....K", "I know" or even silence.

Every time I see her smile, hear her laugh, see her with the fire to DO in her eyes, it's like watching the sunrise for the first time. No, it's more like being blind for ten years, and when your vision comes back, the first thing you see is the sunrise and a beautiful morning. Where birds are chirping and there's fresh dew on the grass.

She inspires me to continue in my mission of being a great man. She inspired me to finish school. She inspires me to use my multitude of talents, because some people just don't have it. Seeing her inspired.... inspires me. Her drive....inspires me.

The way you carry yourself, like a strong, independent, intelligent woman, attracts me. The way you hold strong to your words catches my mind. Your sense of humor makes my sides split. Your thirst for knowledge inspires me to increase mines. You courage to question everything makes me want to learn EVERYTHING!

What should I do? I ask you out and I get a neither a yes or no. As a close friend, I accept it....but on the other side, as a man that feels about you the way I do, it slowly rips me to shreds on the inside. For three years, all I wanted was you. I dated somebody I planned to marry.....yet I still longed for you. You could never escape my mind...even during the time you weren't in my life.

Tell me....what else can I do? I'm not the most attractive guy alive, I'm not the richest, don't drive the nicest car, still live at home with my parents, don't have my degree yet, have a weird work schedule, not the smoothest cat around, not the smartest, I'm no the funniest guy around. I don't always have the best words to say. I'm not the roughest guy, not the most aggressive, by no means. But y'know what....I'm not even close to being the worse.

But y'know what....I would love you like no other. I would lift you up on high. I would treat you like a queen.....more so then I already do. I wanna make every female, from single to married, jealous of you because they could only DREAM of having a man that treats them the way I want to treat you. All I want to do.....is make you smile. I want to keep a smile on your face....and not like The Joker lol. I mean true happiness, the one woman want but never find.

All I want is a chance....an opportunity.......a yes.