dont ya just miss it?

Don't ya miss it? Y'know.....being a child. Bein an adult had it's perks tho, cause we can do everything we dreamed of doin when we were kids. But, dont you just miss....not knowing all that bull we know now? Knowing that........very few people actually care about anything other than themselves. Knowing that, even our government, who we should beable to trust, is just as corrupt as the mafia......and care even less about the greater good of the country then people that hate Amerca as a whole. Knowing the true value of money. Cause we all know when we were little, we were so happy to get a dollar.....and bought a big ol' bag of chips or somethin lol. Knowing EXACTLY who the IRS is lol. Knowing exactly why our parents split up. Knowing that, for every successful person, there and 10 who are unsuccessful. Knowing that Micheal Jackson is a craaazy mofo lol. Knowing that, if you ever get married, there's at least a 55% chance you'll get divorced. Knowing what it's like to deal with the cops. Knowing the pain loosing a good friend.....by somebody else's hands. Knowing what happens when you don't pay the bills on time. Knowing that we live on a society based on image and not content. Knowing that Santa isn't real lol. Knowing how much it sucks goin to a job you don't like. Knowing what it was like paying $5 a gallon for gas............and driving 50+ miles a day......and only gettin 19 miles to the gallon lol. Knowing what it's like to see your friends have babies. Knowing what it's like to be broke lol. Knowing that....being an african american means that...the cards are already stacked against us, and we have to work harder then average to get ahead.

That's like......depressing lol. But what can we do besides stay positive? Thru the darkest of times, our vision need to stay bright. But it was much easier when we didn't know there was darkness. Childhood......pure bliss.

this JUST pissed me off

Why the hell.....do people feel they have to right to things they don't deserve????? I mean, seriously, somebody answer me that question. I mean, I'm a generous person, and some people benefit from it and that is no problem at all. But why is it that some people DEMAND that they receive it for doing ....let's say....nothing. Don't let every time contact me, be a call for you hittin ME up for MY money. I work hard for what I have, and quite frankly have no help in getting it. So why should I give it to somebody that don't have the....common decency to work for it? Like, i never understood it when I was younger, why my own father would become upset when the only times I'd call was because I needed some money. But, it's not so much that....they ask for money but more of the fact that....they see you as a bank, and go to you only when they need some. They can't call and say hello, or even answer your calls, but when you can't or even don't want to give them money they make a big deal about it and wonder why. Like I said, I'm a generous person, wheither it be with money or giving a listening ear and a non-judgmental mind to somebody that needs it...or a ride somewhere or something, I truley don't mind. But when you come at me like I OWE you it as if you've done something for me........that's when I have the problem. It's the root of all evil......and sometimes, I truley believe the world would be better off without it.

OMG....I think I've lost it!

So.........I remember talking to a female friend of mines, and we were both sayin how we were both intimidating looking people. Like "GRRRRRRR" lol. Like, we just have that "Imma eff you UP nigga!!!" look goin on 24/7 lol. We could walk around and have our own friends, or friends of friends actually be to intimidated to come up and talk to us lol. And........call me weird for sayin that, I LOVE that lol. Especially because, most poeple are just a tidbit scared to eff with me, so it keeps me outta trouble. But.....and call me crazy for actually feelin a little sad from this, I think i'm loosing it! lol.

I mean, I remember when this girl actually took an entire month deciding if she should take a chance and talk to me, cause I looked so mean lol. Or, at my old job, people who saw me walkin down the street would say "man....you got that gangsta stroll, like you bout to eff somethin up" lol. But .........and this is when I started loosing it, one of my friends said "you always seem to look chipper and bright, but rugged." Now, granteed, when most people meet me, they say I'm one of the nicest people on earth, or the chillist dude they've known. Which is all good, cause they know me.

Now, I'm no way, shape or form sayin I hate interation. But...lately it's like...people talk to me WAY more then they use to. A few weeks ago I was gettin some gas and some dude said "If it wasn't rainin, I'd say it was a nice day today hahaha". And I thought "GASP, a friendly in Los Angeles!" lol. Or I was at school, sittin in the office for somethin, and some dude just turns and started talkin to me. I mean, you ....really don't have to be....cordual (sp?) with people you don't know or intend to talk to....unless they're your server at a resturant lol.

Again, not the I'm sayin it's BAD....i'm just not use to it. Are people just more gutsy now-a-days or have I gone from grizzly bear.....to teddy bear lol. I'm gettin soft ya'll lol. It really doesn't help that one of my nick names was Teddy (after Teddy Ruxpin) lol.

Celebrity Collage

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

I'm shocked.......no Ice Cube on that list!! lol

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Free genealogy - Blank family tree

So This Love?

Well, the big topic this week has apparently been this....thing called Love. What is love? Besides an awesome song by Keisha Cole and the subject to 60% of every song ever made lol. Have I previously been "in love" before.....maybe. Am I now? I could possibly be......who knows lol. But, that's not what's been on my mind about love. The thing that fascinates me is....not what love IS, but what love makes us do.

For example, love will keep you up all night, on the phone or what not, talking to that one person....about nothing, just to see them the next day. Love will make you loan your friend 100 bucks, just to say "don't worry about payin me back". Love will make a person cancel all their plans, just for a 10% chance of seein that special somebody. Love will make a person turn down the finest person on earth, just because the one they love is the only one they want to be with. Love will help there love ones reach their dreams, because seeing them smile is the greatest sight in the world. Love will let you watch that loved one move far away, just because it'll better themselves. Love will keep u faithful in between the times u don't see them. Love will make you drive 6 hours, just to see that person for 1. Love will make you change everything about you, even when you vowed to never make such a compromise for anybody...ever. Love will make a burp look like the sexiest thing on earth. Love will make you watch all them chick flicks....and actually pay attention. Love will make you cry, just because of the slight chance that you may have hurt that person you love in any sort of way. Love will make them simplest thing, like a hello, brighten the most darkest day. Love will make sitting next to that person and doin jack shit, the funnest time of your life. Love will give you hope. Love will make u take a bullet. will keep you on a job for 30 years, because everyday feels like a new day. Love will put you in debt, just to see your kids in college.

But......love will make u cry at night, when that person can't say the same. Love will make u hurt, when you'll never see that person again. Love will make you stay in the worst of relationships, no matter how hard u try to get out. Love will make you call and P.I, just because your friends convinced you they might..MIGHT be cheating. Love will make u put up with stuff that'll make you cry the second you're alone for a few minutes. Love turn u to the bottle when that person leaves you....for good. Love will make you give up your dreams, just because somebody else doesn't believe in you. Love can make u suffer.

But, from what they tell me......love is very much so worth it....in the end...as long as it's true.

loosing my faith

I'm lossing it....my faith. Not my faith in God.....but my faith in humanity......like I had faith in the first place lol. But in all seriousness, I truely am. Why? Is it because I'm that E word I dare never say (emo lol)? Naaaaah. So, whaaat happened this time sir?! You might be askin lol. I have....officially come to terms that racisim will never eeeeeever go away. Some people may think that it will, or even that it has. But I've noticed that.....it's very much so out there. It's out there like a wolf in sheeps clothing. In the news, on the radio, on the streets. I'm not talkin about racial jokes....cause let's face it, those are fuuuuny lol. But just straight out racisim, weither it be racial profiling or a hatebcrime, it's there. Just the other day, sometime last week, I was talkin to some white guy. While we were talkin a lady of latin heratige came up. She looked at me....just me and asked "do you know how to break into a car? I locked my keys inside" Now....people that know me KNOW I don't do those types of things. So, naturally, me never telling a lie, I told her no. What got me was, aftter I said no, instead of asking the man I was talking to, she walked away. The funny part was, that dude not only knew how to break into a car, but actually stole cars when he was younger. What are the chances? Also, just today, I asked a much older white gentleman not to do somethin (nothin important) but, why did he give me the biggest tude in the world? Not only that......and this is the big reason I'm writing today, he almost dropped a N-bomb. I stood there in awe as this man said "fuckin niii...............numskull". Needless to say, he knew I heard him and hung his head in shame. Couldn't even look me in the eye. I mean, I've said racist things as jokes, I've called mexicans 'beaners' before, but that's because I knew that guy and he knew I ment it jokingly and that, if he didn't like, I wouldn't say it. But, for somebody to drop a racial slur...out of anger, that's crossin the line.

Unwanted

Now, this is some news that didn't sit well sit me lol. But it also....provoked some thought. So, yesterday, every bodies BFF in the NFL Terrell Owens got cut from the Cowboys. Now.....I can't say I didn't like that news, but it has ALOT of positives. So, I'm long over that. BUT this is what got me thinkin. This guy is one of the BEST wide receivers in the NFL with out a doubt. Any team would be LUCKY to get a person with that amount of talent. But, the sad part is.......nobody wants the guy. Out of 32 teams, there's only 3 teams that people could see taking him (if that). Jerry Jones came to the decision that T.O "isn't worth it". What must it feel like to have NOBODY want you. Not just that nobody wants you, but they dub thee as "not worth it".
Like..think about when you were first tryin to get a job (at least for alot of guys), filling out COUNTLESS numbers of applications just to have nobody call you. Or how bout applying to your dream school, just to NOT get accepted. That kinda blows doesn't. I'll even go personal from my experience......because I'm positive this is how T.O must feel. How bout.....gettin shut down by a group of people you thought were your friends?? Like an extended family. I can understand the shock, confusion and probably anger that Mr. Owens must be goin thru right now. Something so certain took away from you in a split second.
I'm not sayin that it was wrong for them to cut the guy....he HAS been labled the Berry Bonz (sp?) of football. But, that's goes without sayin, I do feel for the guy. I wish I knew him personally, so I could tell him I truly wish him the best (and to clean up his act).