Learn and grow

You live........and you learn. Learning......sometimes......just hurts. It can bring the strongest person you know to their knees in a puddle of tears wondering "Why me?". I guess, that's only when we don't wanna learn. I've come to learn.....I just can't change everything I want it life. Sort of my...coming to terms that I'm not 100% in control. When things don't work out the way you want, when you pray for answers and the answer you get is the direct opposite of what you want....learning gets hard.

It's important to learn. I come to think, that the more something hurts when you learn it, the more you looked away, because it's not the first time it's been shown to you. Like the 3-strikes bs, you break the law 3 times and you get life in prison. If you don't learn, it consequenses get worse.....and worse........and worse.........and worse. If we would learn the first time, we probably would never experience that type of hurt.

It's kind of hard sometimes tho. It's not like we're a football team (GO COWBOYS!). It's not like when we make mistakes we can go to the film room and review. Then after we see what went wrong, practice to remedy the problem. We tend to forget what we learned. Not instantly, but after time....once things go right. We....regress. It's not bad, it's not like we didn't learn, we just....haven't practiced. I know myself, I'm the weakest when I'm overwhelmed in situations that I haven't been in before. We talk all this mess about what we WOULD do, but then when it's game day, we're lost.

I's rather be that....then refusing to learn and willingly putting myself in a vicious cycle. It's like a man/woman who cheats and gets caught. I think, most people would stop.... I would hope at least. But then you have people who continue to cheat, over and over and over again. And every time things end the same. But they refuse to learn. Cycle continues.

All in all, life is full of experiences and....like they say, history repeats itself....because we don't learn.

If you don't mind me being personal and open, my problem was relationships. If you are a certain way in your relationships and they ALL end the same or face the same hardship, it's time to think. If it's just one time, then yeah, maybe it's the person. But if it's over and over, it's time to look with in yourself, because the problem is oneself. I'm not beating myself up, because I wasn't the ONLY problem, but I contributed. But, I can say I've learned. I'm still learning and growing. Reflecting and working on improving on myself. Learning and growing is the name of the game. I have my playbook, I've added plays and I'm remembering them. I hope you have yours, because it's game time.

I'm tired......it's the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over again and I'm tired. New information has been brought to my attention and continues to do so. Having said that......albeit nothing.......I no longer see myself living in LA ....let alone California for much longer.

We let alot of things get in the waiy of our callings. The thing we havr to realize is.........those things aren't always bad things. There are MANY good things that actually get in the way of our callings (even if we didn't even notice). We just have to keep our eyes on the prize and fight towards our goals.

It's been about 7 months.....and I never said (on my blog lol) how much I appreciate and how much I love my girlfriend. I haven't even talked about her I think. But I can honestly say, the past 7 months have been the best in my life, so good it feels like 2 months. But it feels like I've been dating my girlfriend (Shelae) for much longer. We both determined it was because we've been going on dates for like 1 1/2 years.

I feel dumb for not asking her out a long time ago, since we both.....fell for each other a long time ago. It feels like we've been a couple for years lol. But, thinking about her makes me smile. I mean, I've never had somebody CONSTANTLY on my mind, every single day. It's like the song goes, "I only think of you on two occasions, that's day and night". I THOUGHT I was in love with women before, but I never felt about them like I do Shelae. I love this woman with all my heart body and soul. I can honestly say I hope to make her my wife soon.

I'm..... understanding this idea of "marriage"

I use to wonder what exactly this thing "love" is. And, I know some time ago I wrote about it, multiple times. But, every so often things happen to change the way you think about a certain things, love being one of them. So, after being educated more about love and relationships (mainly what it says in the bible) I finally understand. I understand it so much.......that I almost feel like I'm ready for marriage, mentally.

Some of the things I've learned, I really feel are the "key players" in a successful marriage. Now, you don't have to be a Christian to have a successful marriage, but I do think you should at least understand these things to have it. So, enough of me talking about how we need to understand it, and let me say what it is we should understand. I'll start with men.

MEN

So, in the Christian wording, men need to Love their wives like God loves the Church. You got that? How bout this, a marriage is a union between a couple. They become one. So, a man should love his wife as if she was his own flesh, because no man would mistreat is own flesh, nor should he mistreat his wife. Nor should a man speak to his wife out of his right mind, or let anyone else do so. Your wife is your queen. She should all ways be considered in everything you do.

So what does that mean? Love your wife, NO MATTER WHAT!! But also, you should learn how to love your wife. What a man may think is showing love, may not be so for his wife. Of course, a wife needs to communicate that. A man needs to be the head of the house, but at the same time realize that a head is nothing without a body. He needs to be the Quarterback of the offense, but realize he's not the only one on the field.

Women

Plain and simple, respect your husband. To take it a step further, women should have 'reverence' for their husbands. Reverence beans to have the utmost respect and awe for their husbands. Not only that but she should be submissive to their husbands.

Now, in observing the bible class I was in, even Christian women have a problem with this. Because of the amount of individuality that the world has embedded in us, it seems just.....so out there. But look at marriages that last. Is the man the clear head of the household? Yes he is. Is the wife submissive? Yes she is. But like mentioned in the mens section, your husband shouldn't be making you do some crazy stuff anyhow.

Clearly, marriage is a 2-way street. It's team work. Men have their roles, and women have theirs. As long as both people are doing their parts, it can work. In fact, it's easier when both do their part. When a man loves a woman like he should, I'm sure it's much easier for her to show reverence for him and if women show reverence, it's much easier for a woman to love. Of course, all that comes down to their respective characters.

But....what if one person doesn't do their part in the system? Well, the bible COMMANDS us to do these things. Meaning, men, even if your wife doesn't respect you, you need to love her anyways. And women, even if your husband doesn't love you like he should, or even at all, you should be showing reverence for him. That's some deep stuff right there. But in those cases, all you can do is pray you're actions speak....LOUD.

keep it real.

Why force somebody to do something out of their character and get upset about it when they don't want to? I mean, there comes a time where you just can't force people to do stuff. I mean, I'll go more personal. My whole thing, just because that gonna be your husband, doesn't make him my dad. I'm 24 years old. Don't force me to like somebody that pretty much means nothing to me. Being nice is one thing, but don't try to jump in a be my father, I don't need it. Maybe if I were 12 or 14 years old, it would be different. I mean, it's not like you become friends with people over night. But know you're place. You can't try to be a grown mans father. He already either has a father or father figure. And then....don't force me to like him!! Don't force me to talk to him. Stop playing games. Do you REALLY think it's gonna help and/or work?? Doesn't help you're being fake all the time, pretending you like stuff that you wouldn't look twice at other wise. Now, I understand "sacrifice". I understand trying to be something you're not to impress somebody, in a way to convince them to date you. But when you're already in a relationship, I think it's time to be you. Infact, I think you should've already been you before hand, cause if you're not SURPRISE! I mean, why keep up a lie? It's must easier to be real from the get go.

It's funny

This is funny to me. Now, of course people love to have money, I do to, and if I said anything other, I'd be a hypocrite. It's how we can....basically live. Now, of course, both men and women want to have money, it's social status these days. In a non-married relationship they love it because they can do things, have fun, live like royalty, so to speak. Same thing when they're married, although they give up some of that for their kids, or just include them. Now, there's a saying that goes 'Time is Money'. You can interpret this as "The more money a person makes, the more they work". So, typically, if you're making about $65,000+ you're probably working a good amount of time.

Now, here's more of what I'm getting at. Women want a husband that makes a good amount of money. I understand that completely. Infact, I'd love to make a good amount of money whenever I get married myself. Now, like I said earlier, when you make more money, you work more. So why is it, all these women that "need" a man that makes a good amount of money ALWAYS complain about never seeing their husbands and being unhappy cause they're lonely. I mean, isn't that part of the game? You don't play football if you don't want to get hit. You don't drive if you can't afford gas. You don't get good at playing instruments and art if you don't practice. It's the name of the game. It's rare that you get both, so why don't women realize this? Don't ask for a rich man if you can't live with being apart while he's making your money. Same thing for men, don't say you want a working woman if working different hours is to hard on you.

All in all, cherish the moments you spend with your loved ones, because no time is promised.