I'm tired......it's the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over again and I'm tired. New information has been brought to my attention and continues to do so. Having said that......albeit nothing.......I no longer see myself living in LA ....let alone California for much longer.

We let alot of things get in the waiy of our callings. The thing we havr to realize is.........those things aren't always bad things. There are MANY good things that actually get in the way of our callings (even if we didn't even notice). We just have to keep our eyes on the prize and fight towards our goals.

It's been about 7 months.....and I never said (on my blog lol) how much I appreciate and how much I love my girlfriend. I haven't even talked about her I think. But I can honestly say, the past 7 months have been the best in my life, so good it feels like 2 months. But it feels like I've been dating my girlfriend (Shelae) for much longer. We both determined it was because we've been going on dates for like 1 1/2 years.

I feel dumb for not asking her out a long time ago, since we both.....fell for each other a long time ago. It feels like we've been a couple for years lol. But, thinking about her makes me smile. I mean, I've never had somebody CONSTANTLY on my mind, every single day. It's like the song goes, "I only think of you on two occasions, that's day and night". I THOUGHT I was in love with women before, but I never felt about them like I do Shelae. I love this woman with all my heart body and soul. I can honestly say I hope to make her my wife soon.

I'm..... understanding this idea of "marriage"

I use to wonder what exactly this thing "love" is. And, I know some time ago I wrote about it, multiple times. But, every so often things happen to change the way you think about a certain things, love being one of them. So, after being educated more about love and relationships (mainly what it says in the bible) I finally understand. I understand it so much.......that I almost feel like I'm ready for marriage, mentally.

Some of the things I've learned, I really feel are the "key players" in a successful marriage. Now, you don't have to be a Christian to have a successful marriage, but I do think you should at least understand these things to have it. So, enough of me talking about how we need to understand it, and let me say what it is we should understand. I'll start with men.

MEN

So, in the Christian wording, men need to Love their wives like God loves the Church. You got that? How bout this, a marriage is a union between a couple. They become one. So, a man should love his wife as if she was his own flesh, because no man would mistreat is own flesh, nor should he mistreat his wife. Nor should a man speak to his wife out of his right mind, or let anyone else do so. Your wife is your queen. She should all ways be considered in everything you do.

So what does that mean? Love your wife, NO MATTER WHAT!! But also, you should learn how to love your wife. What a man may think is showing love, may not be so for his wife. Of course, a wife needs to communicate that. A man needs to be the head of the house, but at the same time realize that a head is nothing without a body. He needs to be the Quarterback of the offense, but realize he's not the only one on the field.

Women

Plain and simple, respect your husband. To take it a step further, women should have 'reverence' for their husbands. Reverence beans to have the utmost respect and awe for their husbands. Not only that but she should be submissive to their husbands.

Now, in observing the bible class I was in, even Christian women have a problem with this. Because of the amount of individuality that the world has embedded in us, it seems just.....so out there. But look at marriages that last. Is the man the clear head of the household? Yes he is. Is the wife submissive? Yes she is. But like mentioned in the mens section, your husband shouldn't be making you do some crazy stuff anyhow.

Clearly, marriage is a 2-way street. It's team work. Men have their roles, and women have theirs. As long as both people are doing their parts, it can work. In fact, it's easier when both do their part. When a man loves a woman like he should, I'm sure it's much easier for her to show reverence for him and if women show reverence, it's much easier for a woman to love. Of course, all that comes down to their respective characters.

But....what if one person doesn't do their part in the system? Well, the bible COMMANDS us to do these things. Meaning, men, even if your wife doesn't respect you, you need to love her anyways. And women, even if your husband doesn't love you like he should, or even at all, you should be showing reverence for him. That's some deep stuff right there. But in those cases, all you can do is pray you're actions speak....LOUD.

keep it real.

Why force somebody to do something out of their character and get upset about it when they don't want to? I mean, there comes a time where you just can't force people to do stuff. I mean, I'll go more personal. My whole thing, just because that gonna be your husband, doesn't make him my dad. I'm 24 years old. Don't force me to like somebody that pretty much means nothing to me. Being nice is one thing, but don't try to jump in a be my father, I don't need it. Maybe if I were 12 or 14 years old, it would be different. I mean, it's not like you become friends with people over night. But know you're place. You can't try to be a grown mans father. He already either has a father or father figure. And then....don't force me to like him!! Don't force me to talk to him. Stop playing games. Do you REALLY think it's gonna help and/or work?? Doesn't help you're being fake all the time, pretending you like stuff that you wouldn't look twice at other wise. Now, I understand "sacrifice". I understand trying to be something you're not to impress somebody, in a way to convince them to date you. But when you're already in a relationship, I think it's time to be you. Infact, I think you should've already been you before hand, cause if you're not SURPRISE! I mean, why keep up a lie? It's must easier to be real from the get go.

It's funny

This is funny to me. Now, of course people love to have money, I do to, and if I said anything other, I'd be a hypocrite. It's how we can....basically live. Now, of course, both men and women want to have money, it's social status these days. In a non-married relationship they love it because they can do things, have fun, live like royalty, so to speak. Same thing when they're married, although they give up some of that for their kids, or just include them. Now, there's a saying that goes 'Time is Money'. You can interpret this as "The more money a person makes, the more they work". So, typically, if you're making about $65,000+ you're probably working a good amount of time.

Now, here's more of what I'm getting at. Women want a husband that makes a good amount of money. I understand that completely. Infact, I'd love to make a good amount of money whenever I get married myself. Now, like I said earlier, when you make more money, you work more. So why is it, all these women that "need" a man that makes a good amount of money ALWAYS complain about never seeing their husbands and being unhappy cause they're lonely. I mean, isn't that part of the game? You don't play football if you don't want to get hit. You don't drive if you can't afford gas. You don't get good at playing instruments and art if you don't practice. It's the name of the game. It's rare that you get both, so why don't women realize this? Don't ask for a rich man if you can't live with being apart while he's making your money. Same thing for men, don't say you want a working woman if working different hours is to hard on you.

All in all, cherish the moments you spend with your loved ones, because no time is promised.

Progress Stoppers

This is no longer a question (Thank you Elyse) but rather a reflection. My original question was something on the lines of "What should one do when they have a friend, that's just wasting their life away, never seeming to grow up, so you try to push and motivate them to do something with their life? Do you keep trying or do you leave them behind?" Now, the ultimate answer was, leave them behind, because if they already don't listen NOW, they never will, and it'll only hold you back. Which, is true, very true.

Just thinking about it to myself, the truth became even more evident. I myself am never comfortable if I'm not doing something with my life. Granted, not every move I make is the right one. My path isn't straight and narrow, but wide and curvy. But I'm trying. I think most people are the way I am, especially when you have so much talent to the point to where you can't pick ONE thing to do, just gotta keep going till you find the right thing. So, I'm positive all those people feel equally as bothered when you see people not doing anything at all. Not even a plan. Nothing.

Looking at it, I think it can be somewhat straining on a friendship. It's like one friend being a millionaire and the other always asking for money, initially you don't mind, eventually it's bothersome but you try to push them to get on their feet. Ultimately you either cut ties or back away a bit, drifting further apart sometimes making a friendship into a acquaintanceship at best.

Now, it's completely different if it were somebody that fell on hard times, a victim of the economy. But to never try, that's another. I will say now, they will never be a priority for me anymore. I won't go out my way to be around them. I won't sacrifice things that can be important to my future for them. I won't even pencil them in my plans for the future, cause I don't want to waste the time to erase them.

In sports, they have a term for people that have top out in performance and can no longer help the team progress past their current potential. It's called simple 'Progress Stoppers'. Typically, those people are kept until a good replacement is found, who have the potential to be even better than that person. It's not a move meant for a quick fix, it's for the long haul. But it's meant to give you the best chance to win a championship.

So, now I have to cut my progress stoppers, or at least make them inactive on my roster, or else I'll never win.