My response to you.

I never wanted to change who you were.....who you are. It's why I liked you. I saw flashes of what you might become and I liked it even more. You say I agree with everything you say yet you don't take the time to realize that we just might have the same views. In fact.....you don't take the time to realize that you think like me. Yes, you think like me, not the other way around.

You complain about me asking the same thing (not every day mind you), but it's because when I ask something different, you just say no.

You judge me with out know who I am. You don't think I love being alone too? I spend majority of my time alone. I love my solitude. So what does it say when I desire you in MY solitude? You think I like going out? I'd rather stay at home and watch movies....and I would like it even more if you were there. You and I....alone...with some quality entertainment. My perfect night. I wanted to be that person that you could just sit on a couch with and laugh together. The man you can rest your head on...rubs your hair, and during that moment you know everything in life is gonna be ok. The guy you can go on trips and cruises with. Go to museums, movies, poetry readings, concerts, games and what not with.

Wanna know why I liked spending time with you? Because you are the ONLY person I know that shares majority of my views. Maybe it just validates my thoughts and believes, but I never knew anyone that thought like that but.....well me. The only thing we never discussed was politics, and that's because I don't think you'd find it as interesting as I do. I don't agree with you for the sake of agreeing with you, I agree because I actually agree. How bout saying something I disagree with? Since you think you know me so well.....that should be easy right?

You harp on things from the past, even tho you don't know fully what you say. You only know what I told you....which isn't a lot even tho it seems it might have. Every story I told you, is only what I cared to tell at the time. So, when you wanna bring up my ex, how bout you keep that to yourself because you don't know the whole story. And just so you know.....me and my ex....still very good friends. So, like I said, you don't know the whole story.

I never wanted to change you at all. I said it before, I like you for you. Any change you thought I forced upon you.....you did to yourself. You were the one the had epiphanies when we talked. You were the one that said you wanted to do things "the right way". You were the one that said "this wasn't the life for you". Not me. Was it all a lie? Is that just how you were feeling at the time, and you were just expressing that? Only you know that.

Sorry I don't smoke weed. I'm not against it, I just can't. It's not worth losing my job. But I'm not against people that do. Sorry I don't drive recklessly when you're in the car, I care about your safety. Sorry I don't pop off at the mouth, put you in your place, act aggressive or whatever. That's disrespectful to you, and I treat people with respect, especially you. Sorry for treating you nicely....with kindness and love....it's how I was raised to treat a woman. Sorry I said "what ever you need, if I got you have it". It's what I was taught you do when you care for somebody.

But you know what, we both have a lot of problems. We both have a lot to learn. I think the only difference........is I'm willing to learn....even though a lot of it means changing things about myself. But you're so stuck on you that I don't think you see it. The world isn't going to change around you. You have to compromise within yourself to fit the world......without losing your identity. Can you do that? I don't think you can, but I would love for you to prove me wrong. I would prefer you did.

I got upset with you......because you say "I appreciate it".....but you don't show any appreciation. Makes sense? I didn't do the things I've done for you because I thought I would get something out of it. So, when you keep saying that, you're wrong. I did it, because at the time....I felt it was the right thing to do. Nothing more, nothing less. But not to long ago....you began treating me pretty foul, and that also is what made me upset. You constantly insulted the only 2 things that I hold to great standard. My character and integrity. And that made me upset.

So, is this why you told me you felt guilty? You yourself said "I feel guilty, because you continue to do for me, yet I feel like I'm not benefiting you" (not word from word of course). Was it because you weren't benefiting me...or because you didn't want to? Again....only you know.

Wanna know more who I am? I'm love my solitude. I'm insubordinate. I'm arrogant. I'm silly. I'm selfless. I believe in the greater good. I'm an elitist. I'm prideful. I believe I'm much smarter the majority of people I know. In fact, I hide my intelligence from people. I'm cerebral. I hate asking for help. I can't stay angry through an entire argument. I'm an over thinker. I personally......think I should be a stand up comedian lol. I think out generation is lazy. I think we are....to self reliant on technology (including myself). I find happiness in simple things. But I also know, there are times when I have to put my pride to the side. Because sometimes.....I don't have the answers...I can't do it alone...I need the help.

Anyways.....I'm tired of typing and I'm tired of hiding behind a screen. So I'm gonna end it here. I'd much rather have this conversation in person.

Just thought I'd write a response since you took the time to write all that. It's only right. And yes, I did read it.

And I know you don't think I like solitude, but I only like the company of a very short list of people. And just so you know, you were #1 on that list.