Snaps!

I'd like to point out to the world, to all you people striving to be "different", that all of you merely just caught up to me. Seriously. I was apparently a trend setter, or at least jump on before ANY OF YOU thought those things to be cool.

A Black man playing the guitar
I started playing guitar in 2003, while I was in highschool, on my free time. Self taught. In fact, I remember the last day of my 11th grade year, me and my friends brought our guitars and jammed with our English teacher. Fun times.

But, what did you all do?? Called me white washed. Called me an oreo. Said "only white boys played guitar". But I listened to rock n' roll music, and this made me listen to it more and more. All of a sudden, I walk around after having a few years under my belt and EVERY black dude wants to play guitar. All the people who called me "white-washed" wants to play guitar. All my friends the rapped wanted me to play guitar for them on tracks (although NOW, I regret not doing it....rap/rock still has potential). Needless to say......I was first. And I still play, although not as much.

Stunner Shades
Wanna know how much I set this trend?? My nickname was Hollywood. Nobody ever saw me without sunglasses. Had a different pair for each occasion lol. My everydays(2 pairs), my church/night times and my aviators. I even had a prescription pair (I use to wear glasses). People use to think I was weird for always buying sunglasses. It was my thing. SO, from the age of .....14 people poked fun at me because nobody wore shades the way I did. Now....EVERYBODY wants a pair of "stunner shades". Everyone wants a pair of shades. Get on my level tho, I only mess with name brands. No more of the $10 stuff (although, you find a good one now and again). Get on my level.

Being a nerd
I was a HUGE nerd as a kid. I still am lol. I LOVE sci-fi stuff. Star Wars, Star Trek, anything dealing with the future, space....that was my stuff. I also enjoyed math(yet now I hate it lol), I LOVE science and technology. I use to love anime a great deal(I grew out of it tho, but some are still AMAZING). I LOVE comic book characters and their cartoons. Heck, I love cartoons period. I'll admit, I even played World of Warcraft for a period of time. I loved video games and spent most of my childhood playing them. And now.....I want to make them. I was a nerd before that stuff was cool. But NOW, it's cool to be a "nerd" lol. I don't think it's the whole "nerd" thing as it is dressing like one.

Being Anti-government
I never fell behind the whole.... patriotism thing. Woke up late and missed the plane. Even tho I was only 14, a part of me felt like Gore should have won and Bush cheated. Then.....stuff happened. But I still couldn't fall in line. Others saw it as being un-patriotic. I saw it as keeping it real. I wasn't going to let an event, albeit catastrophic, change the way I thought and felt. I still don't. I believed all the conspiracy....because it made more sense than the lies they told. I never though the government, especially Republicans, had the best interest of the people. Now that I'm a tax paying citizen, I believe that even more. I'm not much of a.....protester, but I do voice my opinions about it when asked. I do try to stay informed politically as much as I can. I work for the government now and I still don't fully trust it lol. Just sayin. I'm 25....so I've felt this way for about 11 going on 12 years.

Music these days being absolute garbage? I thought that since high school.

Being able to make music at home and distributing via social networks being a cancer to the music industry? And all other opinions on it. Most of the music being mediocre at best. You have those.....GREAT people, and all the mediocre people. Yet the ones in the middle get lost in the noise. To good to be mediocre, the bad to be great. I have friend I put in that category.
Thought that since I was 22.....because I lived it.

Ya'll just don't understand.......I'm not like any of you......you all are like me.

KNOW I see

I finally understand what they mean by "A good game isn't a game, it's an experience". I just played the finest game I've EVER played in my life! Mass Effect 2 (you should pick it up).

I don't talk much of games, but it has a FANTASTIC story, great characters, REAL decisions that are meaningful. You call the shots, you make decisions, you form the story, you make the game. Not to mention....that writing and art work is spectacular.

I say all that to say.....more games should be this way. Not just games, movies, tv....everything. The story for this game is the best story I've seen in a game in 13 years. Not only that, it made you CARE. It gave me that feeling we all use to get as children, when you see a kung-fu movie and you feel like you can fight. When you thought you could dodge bullets after you saw 'The Matrix', when you saw an emotional movie and it made you re-evaluate yourself.

And how did this make me feel?

My name is Sean Shepard....and I just saved the Galaxy.

Competition

The biggest motivation in life......is knowing that there's somebody better than you....to give you something to fight for. Competition is the passion that fuels the inferno.

answers

Sometimes..........when you stop and look...listen....every question you have, every problem that comes your way......everything is answered. When you stop....and the world slows down, you reach a moment of clarity.....and things finally make sense. That answer could make you sad, happy, concerned, disturbed, enlightened, determined, ect. But whatever it may be....it's an answer. So....really....the only thing in life is as follows.....do we accept it as the answer and do accordingly OR do we run from it in denial?

The one thing I can say is.....things can get much worse if you run. But accepting it is never easy either. Life.

My response to you.

I never wanted to change who you were.....who you are. It's why I liked you. I saw flashes of what you might become and I liked it even more. You say I agree with everything you say yet you don't take the time to realize that we just might have the same views. In fact.....you don't take the time to realize that you think like me. Yes, you think like me, not the other way around.

You complain about me asking the same thing (not every day mind you), but it's because when I ask something different, you just say no.

You judge me with out know who I am. You don't think I love being alone too? I spend majority of my time alone. I love my solitude. So what does it say when I desire you in MY solitude? You think I like going out? I'd rather stay at home and watch movies....and I would like it even more if you were there. You and I....alone...with some quality entertainment. My perfect night. I wanted to be that person that you could just sit on a couch with and laugh together. The man you can rest your head on...rubs your hair, and during that moment you know everything in life is gonna be ok. The guy you can go on trips and cruises with. Go to museums, movies, poetry readings, concerts, games and what not with.

Wanna know why I liked spending time with you? Because you are the ONLY person I know that shares majority of my views. Maybe it just validates my thoughts and believes, but I never knew anyone that thought like that but.....well me. The only thing we never discussed was politics, and that's because I don't think you'd find it as interesting as I do. I don't agree with you for the sake of agreeing with you, I agree because I actually agree. How bout saying something I disagree with? Since you think you know me so well.....that should be easy right?

You harp on things from the past, even tho you don't know fully what you say. You only know what I told you....which isn't a lot even tho it seems it might have. Every story I told you, is only what I cared to tell at the time. So, when you wanna bring up my ex, how bout you keep that to yourself because you don't know the whole story. And just so you know.....me and my ex....still very good friends. So, like I said, you don't know the whole story.

I never wanted to change you at all. I said it before, I like you for you. Any change you thought I forced upon you.....you did to yourself. You were the one the had epiphanies when we talked. You were the one that said you wanted to do things "the right way". You were the one that said "this wasn't the life for you". Not me. Was it all a lie? Is that just how you were feeling at the time, and you were just expressing that? Only you know that.

Sorry I don't smoke weed. I'm not against it, I just can't. It's not worth losing my job. But I'm not against people that do. Sorry I don't drive recklessly when you're in the car, I care about your safety. Sorry I don't pop off at the mouth, put you in your place, act aggressive or whatever. That's disrespectful to you, and I treat people with respect, especially you. Sorry for treating you nicely....with kindness and love....it's how I was raised to treat a woman. Sorry I said "what ever you need, if I got you have it". It's what I was taught you do when you care for somebody.

But you know what, we both have a lot of problems. We both have a lot to learn. I think the only difference........is I'm willing to learn....even though a lot of it means changing things about myself. But you're so stuck on you that I don't think you see it. The world isn't going to change around you. You have to compromise within yourself to fit the world......without losing your identity. Can you do that? I don't think you can, but I would love for you to prove me wrong. I would prefer you did.

I got upset with you......because you say "I appreciate it".....but you don't show any appreciation. Makes sense? I didn't do the things I've done for you because I thought I would get something out of it. So, when you keep saying that, you're wrong. I did it, because at the time....I felt it was the right thing to do. Nothing more, nothing less. But not to long ago....you began treating me pretty foul, and that also is what made me upset. You constantly insulted the only 2 things that I hold to great standard. My character and integrity. And that made me upset.

So, is this why you told me you felt guilty? You yourself said "I feel guilty, because you continue to do for me, yet I feel like I'm not benefiting you" (not word from word of course). Was it because you weren't benefiting me...or because you didn't want to? Again....only you know.

Wanna know more who I am? I'm love my solitude. I'm insubordinate. I'm arrogant. I'm silly. I'm selfless. I believe in the greater good. I'm an elitist. I'm prideful. I believe I'm much smarter the majority of people I know. In fact, I hide my intelligence from people. I'm cerebral. I hate asking for help. I can't stay angry through an entire argument. I'm an over thinker. I personally......think I should be a stand up comedian lol. I think out generation is lazy. I think we are....to self reliant on technology (including myself). I find happiness in simple things. But I also know, there are times when I have to put my pride to the side. Because sometimes.....I don't have the answers...I can't do it alone...I need the help.

Anyways.....I'm tired of typing and I'm tired of hiding behind a screen. So I'm gonna end it here. I'd much rather have this conversation in person.

Just thought I'd write a response since you took the time to write all that. It's only right. And yes, I did read it.

And I know you don't think I like solitude, but I only like the company of a very short list of people. And just so you know, you were #1 on that list.